It's been this way since the 1980s. It was public knowledge that this is how a marriage may well end when you walked took the vows and said, "I do."

Every man married since the 1980s has known that if they cheat, they put themselves at their wife's mercy and she could end it this way.

They decided to cheat anyway. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

The prizes have been public knowledge for a looooooong time.

does that make it right?

again.......most, if indeed not all, of the issues teenagers face today are tied to and in harmony with no father in the home..........

Take out the emotion and the law ......should a kid not have equal access to his father?

I think it's Holland where they enacted laws that basically states that there is presumed 50/50 and no spousal assistance for life.......guess what......divorce rates went down drastically.

Who care what the Clintons do, if it works for the Clintons. What was needed was a total media shutdown on this hyped up crap and stop satifying a vouryristic society that just can't turn from another's carnage.

I do admire your conviction.......I too had that same conviction 16 years ago.......then all hell broke loose at 33..........just when you think you have it all figured out.......you don't.

the devil does not get us by drama or adultery or murder or theaft.......he gets us by acceptance.......tolerance.......and self rightousness.........

God hates divorce......it is written for sure.......however......Proverbs has many iterations on a man not living in the same "house" as a mean hateful woman.......

It's NOT always the man's fault......adultery is a symptom.......it's what and how men create the illusion that they are gaining control over something.......

Women do it by running up your credit cards to 96K.......ask me how I know........

Stigmas are and may be different......but sin is sin............we can't shake a stigma......but we can shake the sin.......

Most useful post in this thread. It's all about the Benji's....as usual

need a like button

Wait a minute! What kind of foolishness are you speaking here? Almost sounds like something we used to hear about years ago-but totally disregarded today. I think it was called...morals and values? People don't even understand the meaning of that anymore. Not to mention, no respect for the marriage itself. We're living in a "forgive and forget" society.

we are talking two different things here............I am talking "post" stupid decision.........you are talking "pre" stupid decision...........

"getting what he deserves".............is judgement.....................

from a morality standpoint........only One will judge on that...............

play stupid games win stupid prizes is great for horshoes and checkers......but when a "stupid" prize is loose you kids, then........yes that is stupid...........

Being a crappy husband does not automatically mean you are a crappy dad............

You can be a crappy mom all day long and still keep your kids..........it's a flippin farse

Sorry but cheating on your wife, getting busted, and then pretending you are still Father of the Year is BS. You will always be the guy who cheated on mom. Over time he may forgive you if you work hard.

If you justify your cheating by saying mom was a crack whore or a btch or whatever then you have just taught your son that cheating is OK if his wife is not perfect in his opinion.

If the wife has a problem like that you get her help. If help doesnt fix it then thats between you and your religion if you want to get a divorce. But get the divorce before you start banging other broads.

You are assuming that he is pretending to be "father of the year."


So you mean his son may eventually forgive dad for cheating on mom by being a good father after the alleged cheating; which from your point of view, voids dad from being a good father? You just disproved you own argument that a husband who cheats cannot be a good father.

You people on here will argue about anything. It's always the same people posting on every thread. Don't you people have lives? Bet you're all fat and divorced lol LOSERS

You use a post to tell us we're losers for posting. You didn't really think that one through did you?
Why don't you go back to your table and continue coloring. The grown ups are trying to talk.

lol

actually my ex is the overwieght divorced broke person..........I am holding my own by any measure......

but yes we can argue about anything..............LOL

again, I respect the heck out of you fellows for your held beleifs. We need more men like each of you.
However, and it may be that I am a little longer in the tooth than many here, and it may be that I have had to offer my share of forgiveness over time, but.........any man can become a good man............period end of story. What others "think" about that man is the shortcomings of the thinker..........not the man that has righted himself.

When you have to be forgiven and have to forgive, and each of you will, then you will see where I'm coming from.

This is a great thead by the way.............no one calling each other names (yet)........even "W" has been here without a fight..........

10 pages "W"

If I see you this weekend I'm going to buy you a drink.

Very well said Simple.
As for as name calling, Brandon did call us losers. Its ok though. I think he was just upset because he lost his box of crayons.

Marriage is a public institution and a binding contract that is dissolved through a process in the public courts. Being a representative republic, the laws that govern that court process are determined by the legislature. Some attempts have been made in this forum to assert that the court process is in extremely unfair to adulterous husbands.

Saying that many adulterous husbands who lose most of their possessions and end up paying alimony and child support for a long time are "getting what they deserve" is not rendering an unbiblical judgement, it is taking the opposite viewpoint in a public discussion on divorce policy and practice in the State of Louisiana.

Adulterous husbands say, "The divorce outcomes are grossly unfair." It is not an unbiblical judgement to say, "They seem reasonable to me."

Adulterous husbands put the courts and society as a whole in the uncomfortable position of needing to make real decisions in policy and practice regarding division of assets, alimony, child support, and child custody.

They should not complain of being judged when their behavior is what led to the necessity of policy and practice in these delicate matters. ANY policy or decision regarding division of assets, alimony, custody, and support is in some sense a judgment. Adulterous husbands complain because they wish for judgments harsher on their wives and more favorable to them.

I wasn't born yesterday, and I did not just crawl out from under a rock. The idea that one can separate serial adultery on the part of a husband and claim there are not severe deficiencies as a father is ridiculous.

The adulterous husband has knowingly and deliberately broken perhaps the most important vow of his life, provided an example for his children of abominable behavior, given his wife and the law just cause to severely reduce his involvement in his children's lives, and most likely engaged in a long pattern of deception and lying to hide the evil behavior, destroying all real trust with his wife, children, and others he lied to. Is it a mystery to husbands when they decide to commit adultery that their family will probably be subjected to the judgment of the divorce courts as a result, and that the outcomes will be much less favorable than had the husband remained faithful?

This is not to say that relationships cannot be mended and restored and the husband and father cannot ever become a good and contributing father in his children's lives. It is to say that the road to progress is hastened and strengthened by accepting the consequences meted out by the court, resolving to make amends by wholeheartedly accepting the court's orders, and letting that serve as a proof and as a foundation that the (former) husband and (ongoing) father intends to do right by the family.

An ongoing wrestling match with the mother and with the orders of the court does not bless the children.

and I will drink

I think you based your rebutal on a point that you missed. Just as many women cheat but the system is far more lenient on them.

I'll get you the 2nd drink!!

You are correct...

Woman decides she wants a divorce for any reason, including because she has a boyfriend and has been cheating... its going to get ugly if she wants it to. The court will asign her domersary parent and the father will be visiting his kids every other weekend. all the while he is paying support and alimony. Why??? Because she birthed them and the father works to much... She has more time to be a proper mother(while she still boinkin the boyfriend)....

and there may be more women cheating on there husband than men..... get a divorce in your 30's or 40's and you will find out whats going on.

MG looking at the divorce court process through a womans rose colored glasses, glad he is not a judge...

All the more reason never to have children. Holler we want prenup!

uh..........over 50% of the states are "no fault" states....thus negating everything you just typed by at least half.......

NO one and I mean NO person or response here ever said the system was punitive to "adulterous husbands" the fact is the system is punitive to ALL men regardless of the "reason"


You absolutely are missing the point ......Child support is based ON TIME......as a percentage of TOTAL income....there are guidelines set....the more time you have the more/less support needs to be paid.........

my Bible reads I can be forgiven.......to assume that a person cannot be healed and become a great father is against everything I beleive......same for mothers.....

If you believe the system is fair then so be it.........but I'll bet if it becomes you, your brother, your son, your dad.....you may be challenged.....

There is a better than 50% chance you children will suffer from this......don't think it cannot happen

AND there is a better than 50% chance our own dad's had thier own indiscretions......they grew up in a time where it was before woman's movements and affairs were not only accepted but encouraged to "relieve" stress......

Serial adulterers ? Who ever even brought that up?

Again, I respect your views and encourage all men to think and strongly believe like you.......but sanctamonious opinions after the deed will NEVER resolve the damages of divorce no more than putting on a condom after premarital sex.......

I wasn't born yesterday either and I have lived the expereience..........

I think Mathgeek is looking at this through a perfect world and that is damn admirable........he is a principled man, every post he makes screams that......

Please guys, make no mistake about it.......I wished we lived in that perfect world but we don't.

The faith I have is one that is for healing.........we will never heal from a divorce process that is manipulated by Machievellen means to favor the "victim" mentality

There can be no real success with a real chance to fail.......women, in many cases do not have a real case to fail when they divorce

jusy because you are a bad painter does not mean you never get to live in a house

I like MG a lot but him and I have very different views on this. From reading his posts I think he would be in favor of going back to branding an A on the forehead of adulturers.

I firmly believe in equal justice under law. The language in my posts has been male in character because of a predominantly male readership. My view remains the same if you replace all the male language with the corresponding female language. Some Scriptures that speak on adultery are gender neutral like the ten commandments (Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5), and Jesus firm requirement that divorce only be justified by adultery (Matthew 19). Other verses have male specific language such as Leviticus 18 and Proverbs. Please read what Proverbs 6-7 has to say:

Warnings Against Adultery
20 My son, keep your father's commandment,
and forsake not your mother's teaching.
21 Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
24 to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
the adulteress preys upon your very life.
27 Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
28 Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
31 but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house.
32 He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself.
33 He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
34 For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
35 He will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts.

Warning Against the Adulteress
7 My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you;
2 keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
3 bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and call insight your intimate friend,
5 to keep you from the forbidden woman,
from the adulteress with her smooth words.
6 For at the window of my house
I have looked out through my lattice,
7 and I have seen among the simple,
I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense,
8 passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.
10 And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
11 She is loud and wayward;
her feet do not stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the market,
and at every corner she lies in wait.
13 She seizes him and kisses him,
and with bold face she says to him,
14 “I had to offer sacrifices,
and today I have paid my vows;
15 so now I have come out to meet you,
to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with coverings,
colored linens from Egyptian linen;
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
let us delight ourselves with love.
19 For my husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey;
20 he took a bag of money with him;
at full moon he will come home.”
21 With much seductive speech she persuades him;
with her smooth talk she compels him.
22 All at once he follows her,
as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast
23 till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
he does not know that it will cost him his life.
24 And now, O sons, listen to me,
and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not your heart turn aside to her ways;
do not stray into her paths,
26 for many a victim has she laid low,
and all her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol,
going down to the chambers of death.

He's got a history of poppin off on the interwebz

I knew we would get here sooner or later.........

Choke on the Bible lately?
Understand I am a God Fearing man.

But your case of cut and paste or pain staking typing, would lead us to gouging eyes out, sacraficing a lamb or two, maybe even a child......and men would be building their man caves on top of thier houses.

Do we work for churches and religion that will not accept the man with tattoos everywhere? Maybe the single mom with two children out of wedlock?
The murderer? The rapist? The liar? The cheat? The greedy?

We work for a God that forgives, heals, accepts and loves regardless of the circumstances.

Did He not heal the leper? Did He not show mercy to the adultress? Did He not make a desciple of a man who killed christians?

God himself said David was a man after His own heart? Was David not as well an adulterer and murderer?

The bible is the word. I truly believe that...........yet it is not our law.

It is not the judgement, only God is. It is man that uses the Bible preversly to perpetuate his judgement.

My sins and that of everyman, was known before we were born.......God has mercy on us.......

Have you known someone that has lost a child?
Do you know that 70% of those couples will fall into adultery and divorce?
Is that not a circumstance we, as a people can forgive and understand?

There are many that believe my Grandmothers are not in Heaven because they where Catholic.......really? If that is the case, then I do not want to go there.

Are those the same that will not allow a human an indiscrestion?
Jesus did.........why can't we?

Do many not wear the cheesy *** bracelts WWJD?

This thread has taken a turn that was oh so predictable..........

I will stand before any man for what I believe.......and I will stand FOR any man that wants to be in his childs life.

Sin is sin..........hide any money away from your spouse for that new reel?
Tell a tale about the size of a fish? (liars will not inherit the kingdom)
Keep two seperate accounts so you have yours and she has hers?

Take and extra 15 minutes on your lunch?

The law and equal justice have VERY little in common.

What is equal to you is not equal to me.
Laws are meant to change.

What is so much a misunderstanding, is marraige is a choice of FREE will.

Just because you and another choose to get married does not mean in any way God has joined the two of you.

God could very really be thinking "What the heck are they doing"

Adultery is A reason to get divorced.........not THE reason.

It is only a tool in our civil system to beat men down.

You are believing in some very narrow hash marks.

I know this is a group of good men, there are just too many cases to prove that.........


Good men make bad choices

Since 1997, Louisiana has had a special version of marriage called Covenant Marriage. The intend and impact of Louisiana Covenant Marriages is that separations and divorces are harder to get. The legal requirements are found here:

http://www.ag.state.la.us/Shared/Vie...Type=3&Doc=206

A traditional marriage can be transformed in to a Covenant Marriage with some pre-contract counseling (faith based or secular counselors of your choice) and some paperwork representing a deeper commitment and promising to take certain steps to keep a marriage together before turning to separation or divorce.

Funny thing is, even through many men complain that it is too easy for wives to separate and divorce and rake them over the coals, less than 1% of men getting married since 1997 have opted for covenant marriage, and far fewer still have opted to have their existing marriages transformed into covenant marriages. It seems like many men are OK with being hitched, just not too tightly. Men concerned with divorce and separation being taken too lightly should consider Louisiana Covenant Marriage.

Never heard of it....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

haha
 

simplepeddler wins, he just LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN....ETH


this thread is classic, and that woman sure did a number on ole boys truck:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

There are what I think four states now offering that......

Covenant marriage is for woman what woman see in prenuptuals..

It's gamesmanship on both ends.......I am not positive but covenant marraiges usually have an "adultery" clause......basically making it as easy to divorce as conventional marraige in the case of adultery......

We have a friend going through a covenant marraige divorce now........it's interesting that this we each partner's third marriage, they thought the covenant marraige would just make all their disfunction go away......no dice

People cannot give you what they do not have to give

I think the woman who redecorated the truck gets the credit for the smack down. We're just arguing whether the husband deserved it or not.

The pre-marital and pre-divorce counseling are required even in the case of adultery. Word is that many courts are also honoring the longer time limits prescribed in the law in hopes of giving the counseling a time to have its effect, even if there are claims of adultery. In other words, they don't really give a hearing to the claims of adultery. They say, "Go get your marriage counseling and come beck in two years if it doesn't work out."

I would bet that by a time some fellow is crashing on his third marriage, the issue is most likely a deeply ingrained character flaw rather than women being overly tempted to bail out because the courts are going to treat her favorably. After all, already paying on two failed marriages, how much blood does the turnip have left? I don't think there's much society or divorce policy can do to slow down serial divorcers.

after getting child support from two dads.....and now a third........could see it the other way.......

For the record....I could see the husbands truck getting pounded........can't see him loosing time with his kids.......

Yes......from my time......it now takes a year to actually get a divorce......which has leveraged those seperated to now commit the adultery........

But what it HAS done is.....gotten the counselors quite a bit more income........so they can now donate even more to getting thier favorite judge elected.....

I don't know how Catholic churches work, but I've been a part of numerous non-Catholic churches and one Messianic Jewish group and none of the pastors or counselors or rabbi ever charged for counseling (pre-marriage, marriage, or just live improvement). The wide availability of free counseling combined with the fact that there are only 100-200 covenant marriages in the whole state each year (and very few divorces), and I don't think this is any kind of money maker for counselors. I think becoming a substance abuse counselor would be a ticket to a more reliable income than depending on covenant marriage to pay the bills.

A 1-2 year separation is tough. One can choose abstinence, reconciliation, or adultery. Choose wisely, one will cost you much, much more than the other two.

1-2 years abstinence. Anyone got a woman that can do that you need to divorce her now. You married the wrong woman.

Let he who Is without sin cast the first stone.

Does that count though? Really?

I am not longer a practicing catholic.....they kick you out when you get divorced (no sharing in the eucharist) ..........but I did have the Precaena (sp) actually went twice before I married...cancelled the first date after the first pre-marital counseling......still did't pan out....

My question is.......will the court see pastors and non-professionals as legitimate counselors.......I know in my case it did not.......

The entire divorce (remeber it's a civil process) process is a huge money maker

Again......we are no fault state .......Adultery has no bearing on the amount of support one gets.......nothing .....nada........

A party who has committed adultery should never get alimony. Who cares why.

I did some searches, and the Catholic church is unwilling for its priests to meet some of the requirements of the law to meet the legal requirements as counselors. It is too bad that the church and the legislature could not compromise here. There is a lot of court ordered stuff that requires different certifications, but my understanding is that the Covenant Marriage counseling requirements could be met by any ordained minister that was willing to discuss certain things required by the law.

Was your marriage a covenant marriage? If not, the court could make up any requirements it wanted for any ordered counseling.

No.........covenant marriage is relatively new.........
I agree a party that commits adultery should never get alimony.....but they do.......quite often..but again adultery has no bearing there either......alimony is a little greyer than support. Alimony is a judgement on the mother's ability to have/gain/increase income.

The courts say that the children's lifestyle must be maintained.

Support is based on a formula that (and I am summorizing) states X percentage of total income is needed to raise a child.

let's play some numbers.......
Total income is 100K
Dad 70 mom 30
It takes 30% of total income to raise the children (it's a higher percentage for the first child and less for each additional child)

So 30K a year.......dad makes 70% so dad sends mom 2100 a month.

mom, because it's less........has no one to send money too.

now.......what I think is a great idea is to make BOTH parties put their share into a "childs" account and issue debit cards to EACH parent to spend when they have the kids.......and be accountable ........

It would be a great first move.
Spouse who get the child support have no responsibility to the payer as to where the money is going.

So mom, can .....as a single mom.......in this state .....regardless os Child support.......get free lunches for the kids........and get her nails done once a month with the rest...........ask me how I know

Warning about adultery isn't judging or casting stones. It's like warning about gravity. If you jump off a building, it's gonna hurt. If you commit adultery it's gonna cause tremendous grief.

The fact that adultery leads to weeping and gnashing of teeth is etched into the fabric of creation, just as sure as jumping off a building leads to an impact with the ground with a velocity equal to sqrt(2 g h).

Adultery creates earthquakes in dimensions of creation that we do not see or understand and hardly even believe in. Right or wrong, those earthquakes caused one lady to redecorate her husband's truck. Right or wrong, those earthquakes bring about the consequences warned of in Proverbs as well.

Is it casting stones to warn youths not to play Russian Roulette? Adultery is Russian Roulette with all the chambers loaded.

Good point.

FYI if the ole lady ever leaves me she won't see a dime of alimony. Regardless of what the judge says.

Lol...of course. First problem...delusion.

So true..........but you are talking principalities..........not many people subscribe to that these days.............

K...

Lol

Fixing to make 31 years of marriage. I have always told my wife that If she ever decided that she wanted to have an affair to just tell me she wanted a divorce. Because there would be no forgiving or 2nd chances.
And i put the same constraints on myself because i could not expect forgiveness from her for breaking our vows we swore before God and our family and friends.