I had a friend of mine that was fishing with his son in law one day and got to razzing him about when they were going to give him a grandchild. They had been married for several years and the son in law turned around and told his father in law "when I quit sticking it in the wrong hole" lmao....

That's awesome!

"Babe, its not gay if you and the other girl are both straight, just try it"

I've been after that same line for years! Complete failure thus far!

One time we were at the inlaws house and me and my father-n-law were ragging on each other and my wife comes out on the porch to get another beer from the fridge. My father-n-law says how i should be thanking him for what he does for me and i said like what. He said well i let you marry my beutiful daughter, and i said please that's the ugliest mother ****er i've ever been with. My wife just stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with these eyes and my father-n-law was laughing his *** off. Needless to say she didn't talk to me the rest of the day, and yes beer was involved

Damn that hurt!!!!! That's worse than when I told mine your not fat, your fluffy!I guess there really is no nice way to tell them they got a few extra pounds on them.

Pleasantly plump doesn't work!!!

You're doing it wrong.....need some tips?

"You have the cutest chin"


"Awweee, do I really?"


"Yea, my favorite is second from the front."

That was a fun day! I gotta learn that what I think is hilarious usually isn't worth the laugh!

lol!!!!!!! Yeah, but my wife dishes it out too we have a fun marriage. One time we had a supper at the house, and me and my buddies were outside around a fire drinking and joking. Well all the ladies came outside to hang out and we got on the subject of sex. Well i open my big mouth and said mine better straighten up or i'm going get some strange stuff. Without even thinking she comes back with "i got all the strange you want you just can't reach it". All i could say was touche, and laugh.

Boom!

yeah i know she don't come back with much, but when she does it's usually good enough to make me shut my pie hole.

When I went to Vegas years ago for work and I was with ex she asked how expensive it was. Told her condoms were cheaper in bulk there... It got real quiet fast


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She had some cheese on her chin and I told her to whipe the bottom chin..... That one actually made her cry!

I guy I work with asked his wife last month what she wanted for Christmas and she said new jeans ... He said, well that's about right, as big as they are ill have to finance them .. True story

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got her again tonight. We ate at my parents and my wife didn't eat much because she wasn't feeling good. My mom ask her if she ate lunch or not, and I jumped up with "Come on woman, look at her.... You know she don't miss a meal!" My dad almost spit out his potatoes!

Ok, I'll play. When The Hunger Games was a popular read with the ladies there was a bunch of hype about it, which I didn't quite get. About the same time my wonderful wife made one of her infamous meals, and I told her, "I finally figured out what the hunger game actually is. It's the game I play when you cook something terrible and I have to search far and wide to find something else to eat in this house!"

Needless to say she wasn't very happy...

I'll teach you to fish.

LOL