Thank you all for the input. I promise all of you, it hasnt gone un-noticed. I have taken all advice on this thread and put it to use. I talked with my chief last night and got a little bit of closure. I then went and talked with my dad who is a paramedic and had him break it down for me. He told me things that I never though about. 90% of my issue is stress. I will be going and working out at the fire station after calls and I will better my health by changing my diet in order to help myself cope with these situations.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everyone's input and I promise you, it hasnt gone un-noticed. I am all ears for more input. I went and ran around the cow pasture last night until I thought I was literally going to die, went in and took a shower and slept better last night than I have in months.

Jordan I just saw this thread. I was going to suggest you talk to your dad first. He has a lot of insight and has seen his share also. Follow up on this and don't let it fester. I'm here too if you need a ear to bend. As you can see all of us in LE, Fire, and Medical are an extended family. Again take care of yourself.

All good advice, use it all. Also, never underestimate the power of prayer, I'm talking putting everything else aside, blocking every thought, and praying deeply to God for relief that passes all understanding! GOD cares where we are at in life, he knows our every thought, and I guarantee HE won't let you down!