Need some parenting help.....
 

Went thru my stepsons phone today. Found out he's been to 3rd base with a couple girls.......he's 13, in 8th grade. On one hand I wanna give him a high 5!! On the other, I'm terrified!!! Mom and I talked today, but really don't know what to do.

School gve them a sex-ed class at the end of last year, so now they aren't scared of it or embarrassed to talk about what they wanna do with eachother. BUT, he still wont talk to me or his mom......

Not sure I wanna tell him I know, cause he'll start deleting everything from his phone.......

This is our first teen, so I'm stumped.......

I just don't want to be a step-grandparent at 34!!!!

Guess it's too late for pecan huh?

LMAO......don't know if I would of but this on the web.....but...8th grade...about when it starts!!! Hang on and hold tight!!!! Spur em and let it ride cowboy

where were u in 8th grade????????

Can't give you any of my advice from my teen days....I was wetting my worm at 13 :D

Dude don't hold him back encourage him to make good descisions and always strap up...and let him know its about respecting the girl until.the time is right...he's only 13 so he prolly.still terrified to stick it in....the most important thing is don't make him feel like your gonna be mad and punish him for.it...then he'll want it more and do it more...after you have the be careful respect the ladies and make smart descisions then give him a high 5...as comical as it is I was there once and my dad did a great job with me.and I don't have any kids running around....I always.was careful and I thank.my dad for that....you gotta think do u want him to be scared to share stuff with you like his first time when it happens in a few years or do you wanna be able to talk to.him about it and maybe even give some advice?....I know before all you say you can't be a friend and a father or father figure that's a lie cause my best friend is my ole man....and I turned out ok...I think.

Dude. Take him outside and down the road for a talk, tell your wife you will fuss at him. Give him a high five and say word got around about some kids doin' the deed and wanted to tell him if he does, wrap it in foil before he checks her oil.

And odds are he will say "already did dad"

Props to little Lafleur..

Damn montauk...lol I didn't start getting it wet till 15...freshman year boy...I was walking round like a king.

ya right :rotfl:

IBTL

I was 14.......but this is different......

Haha...I always hung out with the older crowd growing up so I thought it was the right thing at the time. She was 17 :work: I am 25 now and don't have any mini me's yet

i remember when my dad had "the talk" with me. i knew everything he was saying already but it was more the "way" he was saying it. it was the first time that he actually talked to me like a man. it was very serious conversation that i remember to this day. i think the main message that he got though to me was that there was a great deal of responsibilty with having sex. i just hope that the day i have the talk with my son, that i will convey to him the seriousness of taking that step in life. honesty is the best policy!

So the majority here condone sex at 13?

child on child support? best believe it, wrap it up

Started preaching to the boy at 11 y.o.. Wrap that rascal every time!!!!
I explained it to mine about when i was coming up you get an STD and you got some shots and were out of commission for a while. Now you get a STD and you may DIE!!!

Lol shoot bruh mine was a senior..learned more from that girl than all the rest put together...I stayed on it till I was 17 and she moved to Jackson....still haven't found a piece better..

No i don't condone it But i'm not an ostrich w/ my head in the sand either.
when i was a scoutmaster and little league coach i'd hear my 11 .12. 13 yo boys talking. I learned right fast, that if you are not talking to kids about sex at home by the time they are 11. They are learning about it from others.

I just wonder if y'all tell y'all daughters the same thing.

To me, boys and girls are different......little girls should be cherished, boys need to becomes men.......I was a damn idiot at his age. Dad tried to tell me, but I knew better.....I just hope Jacob is smarter than I was......

Amen brotha.

Don't think that will be a problem! ;)

All I know is keep the lines of communication open at all times. It can be really hard to do but I feel it is a must. My 0.02

:shaking:

So having sex at 13 makes you a man?

Dude seriously y does every post on this site have atleast one person in it that can't just state their opinion and be done....dude let us know how u feel and that's it...not all people believe wat you believe or feel the way you do. No one is saying it makes u a man...but it is a big.part and step twoards manhood.

Yes i would tell my daughter the same thing i told my son and at the same age. We as parents can stay informed and teach our children our values and tell them what we expect from them . But we can not be w/ them 24 / 7. If you don't believe that your kids are hearing about sex from other kids at age 10 on up you better think again. And what school or church they go to makes no difference. I would rather teach my children at a young age , than have a child having children.

NO and neither does having sex at 23.

And I'm not saying sex at 13 is ok but if my 16 year old kid has him a girl and it happens Ima be there for him and ill have comfort in.knowing he's being careful..

Sorry, sex at 13 is not "a big.part and step twoards manhood.

And if you think that is what defines a man, you aren't one yet either.

Ditto

I didn't say sex at 13 head...I said sex.in general...like I said if u have issues with peoples opinions then u may need to go to a different site cause we seem to have different opinions alot...state yours and quit bashing others...



Chicken this may as welll go to the g net.

So you have issues with my opinion I see.

Not what so ever sir....never said you were wrong or that your opinion is wrong....but quit trying to say mine or anyone else's is.

Why are you trying to start ****?

[QUOTE=Marsh Boy;307585]Why are you trying to start ****?[/QUGi



Gill net

I smell a rat !!!!

[quote=Hopedale Hustler;307589]Lol, I'm there

Dink good luck . Whatever you do I hope for the best. I didnt get the talk ,I learned on the streets and at 16 I had a son.

Yessir, I will. Education is everything.

Pretty good advice here IMO

yea, communication is key, and come up with catchy lines that he'll remember forever...some of the ones i still remember are...

- eating out is like eating at restaurants, you DONT eat at every ONE...
-you can play in the red river , NEVER DRINK from it,...
-Cover your stump before you hump
-The right selection, is to protect your erection

Guys the way I see it and correct me if I'm wrong, dink was asking for advice. I get what JDd is saying sex at 13 even though is inevitable shouldn't be condoned. I was young dumb full of *** once, the question to ask him is if he is ready to be a Father? He should understand the repercussions. But I agree with what fool said, he needs to know you'll be there for him. While your at it get him a box of condoms, most kids are scared of getting some or use the one they got from sex ed class 1 year ago, only to have it break on them.

This is a open forum and I don't believe JDd was being a troll. Imo

First of all......if you have no child in your home now, like yours or one that was given to you to help raise.....(Remember God gave his own son to another man to raise, Dink and I have said this before the step dad thing is a huge deal when you look at from this point of view) then really it's hard to take an opinion seriously. I mean that with a ton of respect for all you guys, really. But life is different when you have your own, you all hopefully be blessed enough to understand that one day.

Dink you have your hands full.
I do not think a child, regardless of sex, is mentally mature enough to have sex at 13.
Let him know you know in a soft way, let him know how to protect himself from HIV and sorted other STD's, protection from pregnancy is protecting you and mom as much if not more than him. HE and SHE will likely NOT be raising the chance of a child of this poor decision making.

There is no way in hell I would even come close to saying it's alright.
Let him now you understand you cannot watch him 100% of the time, then let him know it's about respect. Would he respect these young girls later.

Being a gentleman is a far cry from today's definition of a man.
These things disturb me really.

And for what's it's worth, I have my first grandchild coming, out of wedlock, from my bonus boy, who was having sex at 14 cause his dad thought he was the man........yea and he is around now to help........yea.......in another life time.

Take your roll as serious as penis cancer here Dink. The boy is lucky to have you, we all see that here on this board, hopefully he will too.

Its not about that...of course we don't condole sex at 13..JDd can't get it through his head....I'm just saying be a friend in this situation and a father the more u try to hold em back the crazier that look in his eye is gonna get

I wish I would have had someone to talk to me about things . Instead I learned from my buddies . Trust me at 16 I was no where ready to be a father ,nor was I ready to tell my parents . So anything you do is gonna be better than nothing at all.

I was "active" at 13. Good idea?...Of course not!...Reality?...Yes. Information is EVERYTHING. Be there for him and teach him that having a baby is likely the easiest part of some of the things that can happen today. Kids are kids and puberty raises "issues" in both sexes. Do they know what to do with them?...Most likely not but, they know what they've heard.

Now, who did they hear it from becomes the question. If they heard from a father/mother/true loved one, they may go forth to satisfy their urges but, hopefully, they go forth with caution. If they heard it from one of their "knows everything at 13-15 yrs old" friends, they're gonna go forth with reckless abandon!

My dad was a parent at 17 and he harped caution and safety in this topic. He didn't want to see any of his 3 kids make the same mistake that he did. Guess what...I listened. I was three weeks shy of 28 when my first was born. I'm glad he talked to me because I would have been a horrible parent any earlier than that.

my .02

Lol....:eek:

Just let him know,that if the lil girls Dad catches him with his daughter, he will probably get the crap beat out of him!!! That would be a real weenie shrinker!!! I know one thing, the high fives wont be near as fun or as high if the lil girl turns up pregnant. Thats more of a life changing experience than the sex will ever be. There are a lot of lil dudes out there that will run from their responsibility as a father if the girl gets pregnant. Thats definately not one of the steps of becoming a man!!!

i dont have any kids , if i had a daughter and i found this out i would lock her in the basement till she was 35! lol if i had a son i would have a man to man talk and let him know i was in his shoes once and that there are always consequences for your actions( babies, stds, girls dad kicking yer arse ect) i feel i have no right to tell them they can do something i did at or close to that age but i wont let them walk into that situation un informed. honestly when i got a divorce i was scared as s h** to get back in the game with all the diseases around , luckily i met a girl who is the complete oppisite of any girl i have dated b4 ...she is a respectable girl that i can bring home to mama

Timmnnnn, just give him the talk you gave to Kyle (who is 13 yrs old) last Friday night in the parking lot at Cocahoe's....you were telling how to pick up women and a few other things....Remember?????:eek:

The truth will set you free! LOL

EVO

There are no basements in la lol