When you pull up to a stop light and the person in the car next to you is staring at you[emoji102] [emoji79]

That's when you hurry up and pull your finger out your nose! :rotfl:

That's also why I tinted my windows.

That's usually when I get a firm grip in the handle of my Glock. One can never be too careful.

Change a couple letters in the word glock if it's a lady lookin!

LOL!

"Oh, wow, I think she's checking me out. Hey! Wait! Does that woman have an adam's apple???!!!"

She says "Im late"

Blow a little coal at them when I take off!

When someone passes Gas in the elevator. [emoji43]

I laugh cause it was probably me. ;)

"Damn I'm sorry.... I probably shouldn't have gotten the jalapeño biscuit this morning." Lol

The guy you just chewed out turns out to be the bosses son

When taking a leak in your backyard just to look over and realize your neighbors are sitting on their patio and can see you.

Your 6 yo walks in and catches daddy and mommy "wrestling".

That will do it bro. Had one time the inlaws brought the kiddos back home after a visit. Let's just say they learned to never open the door of my house without knocking.

Your Mother in law, who your beautiful young wife very much resembles, comes over for a over night visit. During the course of her visit she borrows your wife's favorite fluffy terry cloth robe.

You arrive home from work early and walk into the kitchen. There you see your assumed wife at the sink washing dishes. You quietly walk up, put you arms around her from behind and reach in the robe to get a handful of your favorite play toys......

Ummm. You win.

Don't stop the story now!

You realize even with all that face paint, J-Hooked decoys and a 10k lease you still can't get ducks within shooting range

She says in a very calm voice, ''Oil..... Honey, while I appriciate the gesture. I think you have the wrong womans boob in your hand son.'' :rotfl:

BOOOM!! hahahaha^^^


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X2

A divorce and 20 years later we still laugh about that day.

Did she have a nice set? At this point that's all that matters.

ehhhh they are all nice when they are in your hands. I was 20 something she was late 30's early 40's. I guess they where nice not that I can remember much. I do remember they certainly felt different from what I was used to. Much softer. LOL

Thats awesome!!


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When you riding along in your truck and #2 hit you like a ton of bricks.. Pull in at the nearest gas station and make it to the toilet just in time and when the explosion is through you realize there's no TP...

And a car pulls up with a bunch of people to see of ya need help.