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-   -   Confused on this issue. (http://www.saltycajun.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19413)

SaltERedneck 06-08-2011 09:48 AM

Confused on this issue.
 
I know there is no comparison to a mirage drive Hobie.... but i just dont see spending that kind of money for a kayak that i will only use once or twice a month.... now to the dilema. My wife wants to buy one for me. Heres the dilemma.... She has no source of income. She is handicapped and unable to work (wheelchair bound). My wife only has money for her illness and I am the primary caregiver. I do not expect nor ever ask her for anything. She tells me she wants to do this for me.... little caretaker that she is. I dont want to tell her not to get this for me, bc she really wants to do this and i feel that it is taking that away from her. She can not do many things in life..... in the back of my mind i am thinking save the money, i know we will need it for hospital bills. I have tried to beat it in her head that this is overkill, but she is not falling for that. I am lucky enough to have spent 3 years with this woman... and have cherished every minute. I do not think she has long left. If i tell her no does this take away anything from her?? I dont know what to do honestly. My wife can not take care of me the way she would have liked to. She tells me this is all she has left... what do i do with that? I have dealt with Lou Gherig's disease for the past three years. I have seen a vibrant young woman become stripped of pride and dignity. I have battled with her disease and get defeated every day. I have had a son with this beautiful woman and it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am a realist, but dont count god out for one minute. Times are rough these days and i have a kid and wife to think about.... I want to put this kayak idea on the back burner, but i do not want to take something away from her that will eventually be taken away in time. I love my wife.... i dont expect a debate over this.... honestly just looking for thoughts and prayers as this has been a hard time in my life. Once writing this out the answer has become more clear... soo fishermen i leave you with this thought. Cherish your wives in all they have to offer. Be grateful for all that you have. If you leave here with anything in mind.... i hope its the thought that hope, faith, and courage can guide you through any situation.

evidrine 06-08-2011 10:07 AM

I am terrible sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Deff shines a new light on everyday life for me. Don't know what I would do without my family. This obviously really means a lot to her and I dont think you should take that away. Hobie makes a really good kayak, but can be expensive. Maybe try to tone it down a notch and get something just as nice but a little cheaper. Just let her know that you've been looking in to it and found another one that you really really like. She may be feeling that this might be one of the last things she will be able to do for you. Do this for her and cherrish it every time you use it. Pass it down to your son or daughter. I will keep your family in my prayers. God bless both of you.

SaltERedneck 06-08-2011 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evidrine (Post 264784)
I am terrible sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Deff shines a new light on everyday life for me. Don't know what I would do without my family. This obviously really means a lot to her and I dont think you should take that away. Hobie makes a really good kayak, but can be expensive. Maybe try to tone it down a notch and get something just as nice but a little cheaper. Just let her know that you've been looking in to it and found another one that you really really like. She may be feeling that this might be one of the last things she will be able to do for you. Do this for her and cherrish it every time you use it. Pass it down to your son or daughter. I will keep your family in my prayers. God bless both of you.

Thank you... i will try that approach.

BigChaf 06-08-2011 10:10 AM

You are a Great Man and Husband, God Bless

BassAssasin 06-08-2011 10:11 AM

Hang in there man. You courage and sincerity are very inspiring. May God bless you and your family.

inchspinner 06-08-2011 10:14 AM

Salt. my moms brother died from the same thing and it was a terrible way to go, i understand what youre going through in a way, you can either accept the gift from her and always cherish that gift or you could also, if shes able go on some kind of get-a-way and you would also have that memory with her as well...that would be my two cents but in no way would i reject it and save it for bills, bills will always be there your wife may not as you described....enjoy the time you have left and love her now... yall will be kept in my prayers brother.....chris.

DUCKGOGETTER 06-08-2011 10:20 AM

Man i really want to say sorry that your wife and family are going through this. Me and my family will keep your family in our prayers. Imo if this is something she wants to do for you to show you how much she appreciates what you have done for her then don't take that from her. Just live evidrine said just try to find a different kayak something you feel won't put finances in a bind. This is a great story and it really makes you think about cherishing everyday with your family, cause you never know when it will come your time. God bless.

SaltERedneck 06-08-2011 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DUCKGOGETTER (Post 264793)
Man i really want to say sorry that your wife and family are going through this. Me and my family will keep your family in our prayers. Imo if this is something she wants to do for you to show you how much she appreciates what you have done for her then don't take that from her. Just live evidrine said just try to find a different kayak something you feel won't put finances in a bind. This is a great story and it really makes you think about cherishing everyday with your family, cause you never know when it will come your time. God bless.

The miracles are countless with this woman. I have seen many amazing things happen. She has changed my life for sure.

Raymond 06-08-2011 10:34 AM

Here is my take on the situation, don't buy a yak right now, any yak!!
I have one you can use, yep, all ya gotta do is ask and come by and pick it up. Bet there are others on this board that live in lake charles that will offer also. My neighbor is in the process of buying a yak so we can fish together but when he can't go I will use his if someone else can go with me or vise versus. I try to never spend money when it is short supply on frugal items, makes me worry when I am trying to relax using them. You take care of the things you need to take care of and let the folks on here help you out when you need something. My number is all over this place so use it!;)

SaltERedneck 06-08-2011 10:39 AM

thanks i appreciate the offer.

longsidelandry 06-08-2011 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inchspinner (Post 264792)
if shes able go on some kind of get-a-way and you would also have that memory with her as well...that would be my two cents but in no way would i reject it and save it for bills, bills will always be there your wife may not as you described....enjoy the time you have left and love her now...

x2, well said. I would ask her that if she's adamant about spending the money, to spend it on y'all instead of just you. Time cannot be bought but what you do with the time you do have together will never be forgotten. Try to take her somewhere that she will enjoy spending time with you and your son the most at. Thoughts and prayers to you.

southern151 06-08-2011 10:45 AM

My God, you brought tears to my eyes with that. Thank you! I get so frustrated with my wife and kids sometimes and your story here is something that I will think of every time that I get to feeling that way. Again, I thank you. I'll keep you in the family prayers.

As far as the yak, I say, let her get it. She knows better than you or the doctors what she is going through and perhaps, how long she has left. Aside from a great son and, I'm sure many wonderful memories, maybe she is trying to give you something to go and make new memories. Money will come and go. Bills will never stop. Putting a smile on her face and giving her a sense of worth may stop. Let her do it. It may be all that she has left.

God Bless you and yours.

Corey

Hopedale Hustler 06-08-2011 10:46 AM

God bless you and your family brother..y'all will be in my prayers..

simplepeddler 06-08-2011 12:59 PM

I am rarely at a loss for words.........but this time, I just could not write how I feel.
The God we serve is one of miracles and wonders and I will pray for such for you and your family.

I have watched this group of men step up many times to help a brother.
I would take thier offers seriously, as they are not meant for charity but for real/reel help.

Take care and God bless.

DUCKGOGETTER 06-08-2011 01:01 PM

I agree the guys on this site are one in a million

Jordan 06-08-2011 01:09 PM

God bless you and your family SALT... If you need to talk, PM me or anyone else on this site.

DUCKGOGETTER 06-08-2011 02:25 PM

I second what jordan said. If you need to talk just shoot me a pm anytime bud

FF_T_Warren 06-08-2011 05:16 PM

I personally know that money is tight, but here is my take on it. She seems like an amazing woman and wants to truly give you this gift and I personally think you should accept. ONLY for the fact of A) it will make her happy to do it and B) its something you will have forever and cherish everytime you use it. You will think of her everytime your out on the water in that yak. If you buy a different one eventually you'll buy the one you want and the one she bought you will sit in the garage which is not what she'd want. Thats just my take on it. Sorry you have to go through this brother. we have a close family friend going through the same thing right now.

wtretrievers 06-08-2011 09:45 PM

Take it from somebody that knows...... LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLIST!!!! Bills will always be around, whatever makes her happy & makes her smile DO IT!!!!

mikedatiger 06-08-2011 09:56 PM

Thank you very much for sharing your story. No easy answer so do what you feel is best in your heart and don't look back.

If you ever want to go fishing please give me a shout and I would be more than happy to take you out.


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