Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. “How long will
this take?” I ask.
“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies. I
stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?” Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your butt didn't it?”
He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk
again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
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