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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 10-22-2012, 02:41 PM
Fuze13 Fuze13 is offline
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Default Your fav Anchorman quote

Or any movie for that matter. Whats your fav all-time quote?
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  #2  
Old 10-22-2012, 02:50 PM
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#1

Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, you have a *massive* tall boy.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, uh, it's the pleats... the pleats in the pants. It's an optical illusion. I was just about to take them back... to the pants store. Oh this is embarrassing. nothing to see here people. gonna walk it off... Dont act like your not impressed.




#2

Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.
Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.
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Old 10-22-2012, 02:55 PM
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Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's v$#%$#.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct. Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego? Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really. Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree
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Old 10-22-2012, 02:59 PM
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"The man on the motorcycle, he punted Baxter! I hit him in the face with a burrito!"
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Old 10-22-2012, 03:01 PM
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"I'm in a glass case of emotion"

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  #6  
Old 10-22-2012, 03:07 PM
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STEP BROS

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the F up!
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  #7  
Old 10-22-2012, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuze13 View Post
STEP BROS

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the F up!


LULZ......
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  #8  
Old 10-22-2012, 05:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lake Chuck Duck View Post
"The man on the motorcycle, he punted Baxter! I hit him in the face with a burrito!"
"now this has to happen!" as he punts the dog off the bridge!1
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  #9  
Old 10-22-2012, 05:16 PM
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Who is this? Lead? I DON'T KNOW A LEAD. Lantalin like sheeps wool? Oh Ed ... its Ron Burgundy!
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  #10  
Old 10-22-2012, 06:21 PM
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sammich
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File Type: jpg uploadfromtaptalk1350948058774.jpg (62.5 KB, 214 views)
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  #11  
Old 10-22-2012, 06:22 PM
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News team.....assemble!!!!

Hey Ron. We've literally been here the entire time..


It's so damn hot. Milk was a bad choice.
sammich
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  #12  
Old 10-22-2012, 06:36 PM
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Sex panther, made with tiny bits of real panther. They've done studies you know, 60% of the time it works.....every time.
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  #13  
Old 10-22-2012, 06:38 PM
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I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstration.
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  #14  
Old 10-22-2012, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lake Chuck Duck View Post
I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstration.
You hear that ed? Bears. Now youre putting the whole station in jeopardy.



Another fav..
I believe diversity was an old old wooden ship used during the civil war era.

sammich
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  #15  
Old 10-22-2012, 07:50 PM
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Afternoon delight.

No I wont be able to make it to throw pancake breakfast. Veronica and I are going jyogging. The j is silent. Apparently you just run around.
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  #16  
Old 10-23-2012, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltERedneck View Post
#1

Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, you have a *massive* tall boy.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, uh, it's the pleats... the pleats in the pants. It's an optical illusion. I was just about to take them back... to the pants store. Oh this is embarrassing. nothing to see here people. gonna walk it off... Dont act like your not impressed.
Tall boy? Is that from the TBS version?

The first quote that came to mind when I saw the thread title, "smells like Bigfoot's d*ck."
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  #17  
Old 10-23-2012, 08:42 AM
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  #18  
Old 10-23-2012, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goosepond Monster View Post
Tall boy? Is that from the TBS version?

The first quote that came to mind when I saw the thread title, "smells like Bigfoot's d*ck."
I edited it bc I wanted to keep it PG 13 up in here. never know if kids are lurking around this site.
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  #19  
Old 10-23-2012, 08:51 AM
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And you came up with tall boy? LMAO!
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  #20  
Old 10-23-2012, 09:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lake Chuck Duck View Post
And you came up with tall boy? LMAO!
well when you put it like that.... YES thats what i came up with LMTBO! (laugh my tall boy off)
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