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  #1  
Old 07-18-2012, 08:35 PM
wtretrievers's Avatar
wtretrievers wtretrievers is offline
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Default Here ya go Bluechip....

He you go bud.....since you're getting into the archery thing, may give you some ideas when just target shooting starts getting boring

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner
kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40horse
Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I
quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas
tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep
in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire
danger. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and
you had yourself a well.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak
stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand
new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the
can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out
in a disappointing manner... let�s face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather
like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammab le. So, I went back into
the house and got a 1 pound can of dads muzzleloader pyrodex . At this
point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black
powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but
it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether
should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what?
Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a
second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.


Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I
drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I released I heard a swish as the
arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck... OH CRAP he just got home from work. So help
me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My
dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a Here I thought I was being with the in crowd putting in a cuss word and it turned out I was not cool look in his eyes. I
turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the
starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of
pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Hell. When the shock wave hit it knocked me
off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw
me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 MF�n decibels of sound. I caught a
half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and
I will tell you there was du st, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the
ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple.
Let me repeat this... THE DAMN DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE. There was a big
sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was".
That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown completely
out of my shoes with my thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other
side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT
CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows
on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling
mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3
wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped
down and are now touching the tires. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at
this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I
couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not
that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I
said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp
pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and
you get the idea. I remember at20one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad
could beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom. One thing is
for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been
*****ing about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I
stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzleloaders a
week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality
either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I guess what I'm trying to
say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them
skills they can use later on in life

Last edited by wtretrievers; 07-18-2012 at 08:53 PM.
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  #2  
Old 07-18-2012, 08:42 PM
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Bluechip Bluechip is offline
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Lmao!!!! That is awesome. Thank God I'm not 10 yrs old again.
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  #3  
Old 07-18-2012, 08:50 PM
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longsidelandry longsidelandry is offline
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WOW!!!! Lol dude that's hilarious!
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  #4  
Old 07-18-2012, 09:55 PM
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Big Flounder Big Flounder is offline
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That's funny right there!!!
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  #5  
Old 07-19-2012, 01:24 AM
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jdm4x43732 jdm4x43732 is offline
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Good stuff!
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  #6  
Old 07-19-2012, 08:34 AM
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jkcckc2002 jkcckc2002 is offline
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Lol Sounds like the beginning of combat engineer training.
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