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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 06-01-2015, 12:27 PM
lil bubba's Avatar
lil bubba lil bubba is offline
Red Snapper
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: southeast , la.
Posts: 1,175
Cash: 1,354
Eek getting old

I'm not implying any of you are old.
================================================== ===============
> I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

> Old age is coming at a really bad time!

> When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a
> grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

> The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down,
> I'll remember it."

> Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the
> courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I
> finally snap!

> I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I'm very wise.

> My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs
> work.

> If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

> The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
> which is shorter than "yes".

> I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do
> that second week.

> When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?

> I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!

> Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound

> Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer
> me to someone I can't understand anyway?

> Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.

> Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

> At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I
> went there.
>
>
>
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  #2  
Old 08-11-2015, 03:22 PM
reelguy1's Avatar
reelguy1 reelguy1 is offline
Redfish
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Lafayette
Posts: 167
Cash: 848
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I can identify with more of those than I care to admit...
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