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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 08-28-2014, 03:52 PM
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When you pull up to a stop light and the person in the car next to you is staring at you
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  #2  
Old 08-28-2014, 04:29 PM
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That's when you hurry up and pull your finger out your nose!

That's also why I tinted my windows.
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  #3  
Old 08-28-2014, 06:53 PM
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That's usually when I get a firm grip in the handle of my Glock. One can never be too careful.
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Old 08-28-2014, 07:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duckman1911 View Post
That's usually when I get a firm grip in the handle of my Glock. One can never be too careful.

Change a couple letters in the word glock if it's a lady lookin!
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  #5  
Old 08-28-2014, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt G View Post
That's when you hurry up and pull your finger out your nose!

That's also why I tinted my windows.
LOL!
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  #6  
Old 08-29-2014, 07:45 AM
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"Oh, wow, I think she's checking me out. Hey! Wait! Does that woman have an adam's apple???!!!"
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Old 08-29-2014, 11:10 AM
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She says "Im late"
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Old 08-31-2014, 10:38 AM
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Blow a little coal at them when I take off!
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Old 08-31-2014, 11:37 AM
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When someone passes Gas in the elevator.
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  #10  
Old 08-31-2014, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphaman View Post
When someone passes Gas in the elevator.
I laugh cause it was probably me.

"Damn I'm sorry.... I probably shouldn't have gotten the jalapeño biscuit this morning." Lol
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  #11  
Old 09-01-2014, 10:03 AM
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The guy you just chewed out turns out to be the bosses son
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  #12  
Old 09-01-2014, 01:16 PM
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When taking a leak in your backyard just to look over and realize your neighbors are sitting on their patio and can see you.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:36 PM
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Your 6 yo walks in and catches daddy and mommy "wrestling".
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  #14  
Old 09-01-2014, 02:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eman View Post
Your 6 yo walks in and catches daddy and mommy "wrestling".
That will do it bro. Had one time the inlaws brought the kiddos back home after a visit. Let's just say they learned to never open the door of my house without knocking.
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  #15  
Old 09-01-2014, 04:19 PM
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Your Mother in law, who your beautiful young wife very much resembles, comes over for a over night visit. During the course of her visit she borrows your wife's favorite fluffy terry cloth robe.

You arrive home from work early and walk into the kitchen. There you see your assumed wife at the sink washing dishes. You quietly walk up, put you arms around her from behind and reach in the robe to get a handful of your favorite play toys......
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  #16  
Old 09-01-2014, 05:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I make oil View Post
Your Mother in law, who your beautiful young wife very much resembles, comes over for a over night visit. During the course of her visit she borrows your wife's favorite fluffy terry cloth robe.

You arrive home from work early and walk into the kitchen. There you see your assumed wife at the sink washing dishes. You quietly walk up, put you arms around her from behind and reach in the robe to get a handful of your favorite play toys......
Ummm. You win.
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  #17  
Old 09-01-2014, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I make oil View Post
Your Mother in law, who your beautiful young wife very much resembles, comes over for a over night visit. During the course of her visit she borrows your wife's favorite fluffy terry cloth robe.

You arrive home from work early and walk into the kitchen. There you see your assumed wife at the sink washing dishes. You quietly walk up, put you arms around her from behind and reach in the robe to get a handful of your favorite play toys......

Don't stop the story now!
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  #18  
Old 09-01-2014, 06:41 PM
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You realize even with all that face paint, J-Hooked decoys and a 10k lease you still can't get ducks within shooting range
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  #19  
Old 09-02-2014, 02:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goooh View Post
Don't stop the story now!
She says in a very calm voice, ''Oil..... Honey, while I appriciate the gesture. I think you have the wrong womans boob in your hand son.''
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  #20  
Old 09-02-2014, 06:59 AM
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BOOOM!! hahahaha^^^


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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