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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please. |
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#1
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1959 vs 2009
Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1959 -Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.[/SIZE] 2009 -School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers Scenario 2 Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school[ 1959 -Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2009 -Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest bothJohnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it Scenario 3: [Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students 1959 -Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again 2009 -Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD.. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability [ [Scenario 4[ Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1959 -Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2009 -Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed tofoster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1959- Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock..[2009- The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario 6 Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed] 1959 - Ants die.. 2009 -ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents --and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario 7: [Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing 2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy |
#2
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dude this as always been one of my favorites
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#3
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Wow, so true...
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