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Reload this Page Stupid things you've told your wife

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  #81  
Old 01-15-2013, 07:05 PM
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You all are some DUMB SOME *****ES... A friend of mine use to say stupid stuff like that until one night he came home a little tipsy, tried to get some Azz..

He passed out.. She then got out of bed, tied the bed sheets over him and commence to beat the S it out of him with a BROOM...

He nows yudders NOTHING BUT sweet nothings to her.. Plus she keeps the Broom next to the BED, so he can see it... HA HA HA HA ...

Remember guys "YOU CAN ATTRACT MORE FLYS WITH HONEY"..... And last but not least... "Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night".
Last edited by biggun; 01-15-2013 at 07:24 PM.
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  #82  
Old 01-15-2013, 07:15 PM
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You right biggun, but I'm young enough that I can catch up for all the missed nights!!
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  #83  
Old 01-15-2013, 07:45 PM
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LOL Matt... But I'm old ENOUGH to tell U... U can't catch up.. Everytime U miss the chance it's gone.. LOL... Mathmathically Spelling) Impossible.. LOL..
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  #84  
Old 01-15-2013, 07:46 PM
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Bout to head to the house for the evening. Gotta run back into the shop first and get my black electrical tape...Thanks to the a-hole that gave me the idea. I'll take pictures of what happened to me in the morning!

After that try the vasaline on the toilet seat!
That's another one I'll have to post when I get a minute!
You can use scotch tape also, it's clear and invisible to a woman's eyes! Lol
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  #85  
Old 01-15-2013, 07:56 PM
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After that try the vasaline on the toilet seat!
That's another one I'll have to post when I get a minute!
You can use scotch tape also, it's clear and invisible to a woman's eyes! Lol
Wife in pain...must abort mission...for today, that is! Repercussions could be life threatening if I tried to pull it off tonight!
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  #86  
Old 01-15-2013, 11:45 PM
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Ya know what?! She feels good enough tonight to run her mouth...clear packing tape held it down perfect! That being said, my ins deductible is high so, can yall take up some $ to cover it?! I bet I'll need it but, she's got it coming!
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  #87  
Old 01-16-2013, 02:05 AM
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Oh lawd!!! Lol
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  #88  
Old 01-16-2013, 07:07 AM
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Ya know what?! She feels good enough tonight to run her mouth...clear packing tape held it down perfect! That being said, my ins deductible is high so, can yall take up some $ to cover it?! I bet I'll need it but, she's got it coming!
Lmao!!!
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  #89  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:16 AM
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This is gonna be good
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  #90  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:17 AM
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Ya know what?! She feels good enough tonight to run her mouth...clear packing tape held it down perfect! That being said, my ins deductible is high so, can yall take up some $ to cover it?! I bet I'll need it but, she's got it coming!
Don't forget it's on there and catch a bath urself!
Last time I did it, it was priceless! I was sitting 10 ft across at the bar, the woman walks up turns faucet on, and immidiately turns away and go's for the stove not realizing its pumping water all over the kitchen!
When she finally turned around we both were laughing soo hard we could cry!
I looked at her and said well, u got a mess on ur hands, turned and walked out!
It was crickets:!!!!
Until I retired with two chamois to clean it up! :-)
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  #91  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:39 AM
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Well, I set the trap. She never went to the faucet before bed last night. Thank God she didn't get up in the middle of the night, while I was sleeping!! I figure my phone should be blowing up anytime now though...She's getting the kids ready for school!

Oh, this could be bad! I figure, by now, she knows why I was in such a hurry to get out of the house this morning. I left at 6:45! LOL!! Oh, what have I started?! Thanks a lot guys! UGH!
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  #92  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:44 AM
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well, i set the trap. She never went to the faucet before bed last night. Thank god she didn't get up in the middle of the night, while i was sleeping!! I figure my phone should be blowing up anytime now though...she's getting the kids ready for school!

Oh, this could be bad! I figure, by now, she knows why i was in such a hurry to get out of the house this morning. I left at 6:45! Lol!! Oh, what have i started?! Thanks a lot guys! Ugh!

you better pick up a big thing of lotion on your way home today, cause sir you are officialy cut off
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  #93  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:52 AM
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Well, I'm on the phone with her now. I've had an easier time understanding those import customer service reps than her right now! WOW!
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  #94  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:57 AM
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Well, I'm on the phone with her now. I've had an easier time understanding those import customer service reps than her right now! WOW!
LMBO.


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  #95  
Old 01-16-2013, 09:04 AM
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well, i'm on the phone with her now. I've had an easier time understanding those import customer service reps than her right now! Wow!
dead man talking!
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  #96  
Old 01-16-2013, 09:37 AM
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well, i'm on the phone with her now. I've had an easier time understanding those import customer service reps than her right now! Wow!

lol!!!!!!!!! You're dead meat
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  #97  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:16 PM
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well we would like to know all the details and the a$$ chewing you got
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  #98  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:26 PM
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well we would like to know all the details and the a$$ chewing you got
Home now, and like a paranoid war veteran, I'm checking EVERY corner! This isn't over, I am sure. She plays a cool hand when she needs to. Too bad, I pick up on that!....maybe! Haha!
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  #99  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:30 PM
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Just sprayed off my plate and, she grinned. She said, "I won't forget."

I'm screwed!
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  #100  
Old 01-16-2013, 08:53 PM
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Lol


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