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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 11-18-2009, 09:07 AM
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longsidelandry longsidelandry is offline
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Default The Sweetness of Married Life!!

The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, 'Honey I'm going to Hank's Tavern to have a beer, I'll be right back'.

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. 'I'm going to have a beer...'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop..... But at the bar.... You know....they have frozen glasses........ '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long.. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey...... At the bar... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN ****! SIT YOUR SORRY *** DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES RIGHT HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKIN' MARRIED NOW AND YOUR SORRY *** IS NOT GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT **** IS OVER! GOT IT, DUMBASS?'

And they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story?

MARRIED LIFE ...............

MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP!!!
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  #2  
Old 11-18-2009, 09:43 AM
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wtretrievers wtretrievers is offline
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  #3  
Old 11-18-2009, 09:59 AM
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Jordan Jordan is offline
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lollllllllll
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  #4  
Old 11-18-2009, 11:02 AM
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adamsfence adamsfence is offline
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yeah thats pretty well it, glad i don't have a bunch of land cause my wife would have it high fence with white tail and lakes with fish.... i would never get to leave
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