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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 08-17-2010, 12:21 PM
Andy C Andy C is offline
Red Snapper
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cameron, tx/Hackberry
Posts: 1,544
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Default Old Farmer's Advice

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Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life... Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
--
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.


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  #2  
Old 08-17-2010, 01:30 PM
longcast's Avatar
longcast longcast is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: lake charles la
Posts: 2,860
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The last part is so true. The rest is just awsome
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  #3  
Old 08-17-2010, 01:41 PM
longsidelandry's Avatar
longsidelandry longsidelandry is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Delcambre, LA
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So very very true
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  #4  
Old 08-17-2010, 09:30 PM
davethefish1 davethefish1 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Marrero, Louisiana
Posts: 319
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy C View Post


Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life... Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
--
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.

follow these words and you can't go wrong!!!
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  #5  
Old 08-17-2010, 09:52 PM
yak'em-n-stack'em's Avatar
yak'em-n-stack'em yak'em-n-stack'em is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 5,874
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the last one is the best
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  #6  
Old 08-18-2010, 03:52 PM
cajunbuckeye's Avatar
cajunbuckeye cajunbuckeye is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ponchatoula
Posts: 20
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My dad always used to tell me

"It ain't how deep you plow, it's how long you stay in the field"

I never knew if he was talking about farming or farming if you get my drift..............
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