Keep us posted sure enjoy the laugh

Mine tried to " use the lotion on me" I told her stop I can do it better myself! ..... Did NOT go over well

That's funny c h it right dare!!!!!!:rotfl::work:

"I've got years more experience at that than you do." Didn't settle well. Turtle headed back to his shell after that dumb comment!

New discovery!..."do it like you did before we were married, when I could kick you out and you didn't take half of ****!", isn't the way to make her happy either! I am the walking, talking dictionary of "what not to do in marriage!" Haahaahaha!

My co worker told me, He and his wife were watching tv and there was a hot red head on the show, he blurted out "honey aint nothing better than a red head!"( his wife isnt a red head!!)
She said what did u say! he didnt even look at her after that comment. Lol

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Here's how to make it better:

You're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

How can I make it up to you . . . Dinner?

That's how it's done? I've been getting it backwards all these years....

I'm right. You're wrong. Shut up..... And where's my dinner?

X2

X2... If that don't work, get a thick phone book, put that on the side of her face and WHOP! You can punch the phone book so hard it will knock her out and never leave a mark!

Of course I've never done that though, my wife shoots every gun I own a little too well.

Mine will never stay still long enough to let me hold the phone book upside her head.

Also, if you load a pillow case with a few oranges it and beat someone with it, it doesn't leave a bruise, read that on the internet and everything you read on the internet is true.:cool:

Well I hope it was worth it. I taped the kitchen sprayer. Not only did I get my wife but also my daughter. My daughter jumped out of the way and left it spraying. Soaked half the kitchen living room and washed off the fridge. LMBO


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Excellent!!

Hahahaha! I thought about trying it, but my luck I would forget and spray myself!

Yep.....thats what I did.....

Lol


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I was telling my old man about the things some of y'all said on this thread and my mon reminded me of way back one morning I was sitting at the kitchen counter doing math homework while my mom was getting ready for work. She came into the kitchen to make her SlimFast..... Yes I said make..... That's back when you had to mix that $hit like Ovaltine, and that's the only reason it worked... Your arms got tired from shaking it. Anyways, she was shaking the cup when the top flew off and all the SlimFast flew all over her. As usual I started laughing at her, so she went all bipolar and grabbed my calcualor and threw it across the kitchen. I looked down at the pieces and said, "Well, so much for that math test." She started balling a$$ crying because she thought I was going to fail a test because of her. Then I broke the news to her that I didn't have a test.... I just wanted to see how mad I could make her! I guess I've always been an A$$hole!

Oh No!
 

Oh No! That's just wrong! Men, be nice to your women. They love you unconditionally and deserve kind, loving words. A little kidding around is great but let that woman know she means everything to you. You don't want to lose a good thing.:)

I guess I am very lucky. Trophytroutman always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me & he shows me every day. He would never down me. He's got my back and I've got his. I am so grateful that he never makes me feel less of a woman. It's quite the opposite, he makes me feel like the only woman in the world. Some of these were funny and some I felt bad for the wives.

:puke::puke::spineyes:

X2!!!!!!!

so i guess you forgot about him leaving you for another woman. What kind of cousin love circle ya'll have going on?

Holy shiznit lol hahahaha ^

LMBO. Dg


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Best one I ever did was wife goes out w me and friends by 2 am all the girls drunk getting sick and all the guys still raring to go we go drop them off at the house I ask my ex-wife if she wants me to stay r go... She says go 1 hr later I'm at strip club motor boating a chick and something slaps me in back of head... Turn around thinking I'm bout to fight the bouncer turn around and it's my ex-wife in her pajamas telling me to get in the car and come home now... Lmao I said he'll no I ain't coming home are u crazy? Ill just sleep at my buddy's house lol

X2!

Saturday night we at a freinds house eating gumbo, and my buddies wife says the gumbo is a little thick you might have to add some water to your bowl. Well i come back with i like tick things look at my wife. The look on her face was not a good one.

My ex did the same thing, except I was with HER dad and GRANDFATHER at penthouse club in NOLA for the osu/lsu bcs game! I refused to leave and when I finally came home all my stuff was laying in the courtyard below and on the porch! So I gathered my stuff and snuck back in the hotel when she was asleep . She woke up in the middle of the night and started *****ing again... Asking why I didn't take a shower to "wash the stripper off" lmao I told her I like the smell of sluts! She did not respond good to that , or when I told her "why u mad I was only motor boating 1 at a time , your grandfather had 3 on his lap"

Seriously, go away! This is a funny thread, not "This week on Springer!":shaking:

For real only reason he is sayin all that is cuz he is trying to kiss her @$$ so she dont kick him out lmao

x2!!!!! They're relationship is so wacked out, and they air it out on a public forum then get mad when everyone jokes about their so called great realationship. Alot more i can say, but i'll keep it to myself.

Go ahead an vent dg. Lol


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Gramps was getting busy!!!

I think you get some kind of immunity when you are with Grandpa n law, at least you can blame it on him!!

lol!!!!!!!!!! I would, but this would end up in the gillnet or a trip to ban camp for me so i'll just keep my lips sealed.

Told my F-I-L that I like when his daughter is real drunk because she sleeps with her mouth open. He laughed his *** off!! She didn't enjoy the humor....

I may have had a few of these moments but the best (or worst) one was one night my ex was having a pretty heated "discussion" with me. which I really wasn't paying alot of attention to. After fifteen minutes or so I turned around and in just as flat and even tone as possible but loud enough for evyone to hear, told her to stop acting like her mother, Which would have been bad enough on its own. BUT.... The fact they we were at the inlaws house didn't really help much either! lol

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

I introduced mine at a bar before as "My First Wife". She didn't see any humor in that.

This story isn't about me, but it's something i would sure tell my wife. We were at some freinds of ours house for dinner one night and we were sitting there after we ate and drinking and talking. My little girl had just started waliking and picked something up off their floor when his wife said what is she eating? He said it could be anything from rice, greenbeans or whatever else you didn't sweep up and his wife gets all on his ***. She starts yelling oh i know i'm a terrible wife, i don't cook, don't clean, i don't take care of the kids, i don't please you in bed. I know i'm just worthless, and he without thinking says "well atleast you still got your memory". I thought it was funny as hell and started laughing well she gets on both our asses. I still laugh when i think about it. Lol!!!!!!!!

Lol!!!! Figured that.


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Stored in memory!

don't let me get you in trouble

:withstupid::nospam::trolls::beathorse: great points fellas!!!! lol

3 weeks ago I told my wife that I would install our new laminate hardwood flooring....................................

On another note... my wife told me this yest
 

Me: I think my mom is losing it.... she is completely outta control.. Its insanity.

Her: Well I see where you get it from! Looooooooong pause.... I guess i shouldnt have said that out loud.

story escalates... yada yada yada

Me: I dont know why my dad puts up with it.

Her: Yeah i almost emailed him and said "Why is it that the normal ones always get hooked up with the crazy ones?? "

Me: Explicative!! )(%$*%)*%$)(

I figured this thread needed to be revived. Yesterday we were getting dressed to go take family pictures and the wife walked out of the bathroom and asked if she looked fat in this shirt.......... I said "With it on..... No. Without it..... Yep."

That's not smart!! Sweet avatar btw

Like

One of the photos from yesterday! Glamour Shot got classy baw! :rotfl: