1. 75% reduction in Miller Lite consumption (no drinking during the week)
2. 75% reduction in consumption of boudin and cracklin
3. 25% increase in attentiveness towards wife's pleas/demands
4. 50% increase in attentiveness towards a particular coworker's lame stories (at least pretend to care)
5. 10% reduction in weight (start running again)
6. 75% increase in sitting at the table at dinner time
7. 50% reduction of listening to Rush Limbaugh/Hannity/Walton & Johnson which leads to 50% reduction of getting very mad at liberals thereby lowering stress/blood pressure/increasing overall health
8. 90% reduction in online fights with liberals (already deleted my FB account, too many relatives and 'friends' are libtards, and we are not going to change one anothers' minds)
9. Eat more fish
