[Slidellkid]

So I hook up with ole' Raymond for my first kayaking trip. We head down to the beach to catch some specks. Raymond shows me the kayak and the paddle and says, "I promise it won't flip." Well, we paddle out past the rocks and it ain't even crackin daylight let. Fish are busting bait and and I reach behind me to grab my rod and roll that Yak right on over and do a nose dive into the gulf. I open my eyes under water and see my skitter walk still tied on to my rod, but pointing down at the bottom. I look down and there are two bull sharks eyeing my toes. I pop back up faster than a softball sized Walmart bobber and grab onto the kayak for dear life.

I call out to Raymond to come help my fat arse and he looks at me with disgust; how dare I take a dive when fish are breaking all over the place. Well, he finally gets to me and tells me to grab the far side of the yak and pull my butt into it. Well, this crap would have been easy in my younger days, but it's amazing how time takes its toll on your abiliites. Anyway, I grunt and groan while Raymond yells "you can do it , you can do it" I feel like the Little Engine that Could with him yelling at me, but I give it all I have and pull my fat butt into the yak and then.....right over the other side. I pop back up, again, and Raymond says "we got this, we got this". Slowly, very slowly, I pull myself into the yak and manage not to tumble out the other side.

So, me and all my crap are soaking wet, but I drive on. Saltwater covers my contacts and makes for a hazy view. About the fifth cast I have a fish, alright, things are looking up......crap, a nasty hardhead! How do I get this bastid off without dumping myself back in the gulf? I finally manage the hook extraction and continue to fish. I actually manage to catch a few fish but I realize that if I keep them on a stringer a shark could yank on them and if I got scared I might tip the dang yak over again. I think to myself, "man, that would be really bad to tip this yak over with a shark chewing away on my string at my feet". I decide to just throw the fish in the bottom of the yak and they are flopping all over my legs; I've got fish slime all over me, if I go over now I'm shark bait for sure.

I realize the bottom of my little yak probably won't hold another trout without a good possibility of it jumping out, so I head to the bank to take the fish to the cooler on the tailgate. I'm walking barefoot on the beach to the truck and somehow impale my big toe on a dead hardhead. Now I am soaking wet and bleeding like a mo foe.

We finish up fishing at about 9:00. We are at the truck getting our stuff ready to go. I look up and there is Raymond, buck naked on HWY 82 washing his nasty arse! Man, I really didn't need to see that!

Thanks for the adventure Raymond. I enjoyed most of it!

Dan