Quote:
Originally Posted by jchief
Go see a priest/deacon/preacher whatever.
Jordan this can get serious. You need to deal with it. Contact some area departments and see if they have someone to talk with. There was a program for peer counseling, don't know how it is going now.
And I don't care if it costs your department. Need to go to the Chief and tell him.
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Chief is right. You need to talk to someone about it and if the department is hesitant to pay for it, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. If they will not provide the resources to keep their firefighters safe both on and off scene, then this is not a department worth being a part of.... PERIOD. Don't take this the wrong way, but this may not be the right thing for you. People cope differently and some just can't cope. Removing yourself from problem may be the best option. This isn't a career for you. This is a hobby. DO NOT ruin your life over a hobby.
In the years and the deaths I've witnessed since I've been involoved with the local VFD, I've only had one call that has affected me afterwards. I got through it by talking with my brother who was also a firefighter and also talking with my Cheif. We had the resources to consult with, but I chose not to. I learned to purge after calls involving deaths and have became indifferent over the matter. Death is the only certainty in life. I may seem blunt, but this has gotten me through a lot. I'll be more than happy to talk with you if you need to vent. I'll PM you my contact info.