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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 12-30-2012, 05:08 PM
Harley123 Harley123 is offline
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Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!" She said, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the j3welry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earr...ings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No baby, I don't feel like it." Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.
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  #2  
Old 12-31-2012, 07:27 AM
DUCKGOGETTER DUCKGOGETTER is offline
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NICE!!!!
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  #3  
Old 01-01-2013, 06:28 PM
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jkcckc2002 jkcckc2002 is offline
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Good one!
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:33 AM
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SaltERedneck SaltERedneck is offline
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ha ha!
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