Two leprechauns have a bet and to settle it they go to a convent. Mother Superior answers the door, and says, "Oh my goodness! Leprechauns!"
"Take it easy, sister," says the first leprechaun. "I only want to ask you a question. Are there any nuns in your convent my size?"
"No, little man, there are no nuns in my convent that are your size."
"All right then. Are there any nuns in all of Ireland that are my size?"
"No, little man, there are no nuns in all of Ireland your size."
"All right then. One more question. Are there any nuns in all of the world that are my size?"
"No, little man, I am quite sure there are no nuns in all of the world that are your size!"
The second leprechaun starts laughing uncontrollably, but through the laughter, he manages to say, "You see, I told you that you screwed a penguin!"