Gut Check, not sure how handle this.

[marty f]

Me and my best fishing partner headed to big lake for the weekend (my son, 13yro) We got in about 930 10p, threw the bags I the room and made a mad dash for the boat dock to catch some.......something, anything, it didn't matter. We picked up some hard heads and a few sheepshead, just having fun fishing. After an hour or so we turned in for the night for we had a 5am fish call to answer!

SO we're off and out before sun rise, on target (pelican cove) just as the sun comes up and I tell my son, "hey watch the sun, its a new beginning, its the start to a great day of fishing" I know sounds corny but my pops always took me fishing at sunrise and I remember those things about him.

The fishing was good we are putting a few in the boat, ened up with 2 24" specks and the rest were around 18, so we boogied on lookin for reds now.
The reds were a bit harder to find, as well dodging rain squalls. Couldnt find moving water to save our life! Finally got on a few 4-5 on an area over by long point lake.

Sorry only got one pic



About this time (3:30)my son tells me hes not feeling so good, so I ask him if he just wants to go to the house we are stayin at, he immediately says YES. So we head in. I tell him to go inside and take it easy and rest, I start cleaning up. He comes out a little while later and ask if we can go home. I said "are you feeling that bad?" he says yes he just wants to go home. I said ok buddy no problem, we'll get loaded.

As much as I hated to go because I love fishing, the weather was great, I had found reds, I have a memory of when I was about 10. My dad took me out camping/fishing he set up camp, got the boat all ready and we were set up. I started feeling bad and sick, and I too wanted nothing more then to go home. Dad was so understanding, picked up camp, loaded the boat, and home we went. That's one of my fondest memories. So when It came on my shoulders of my son just wanting to go home, we did.

Hated to leave with weather and water like this


Heres my gut check. The closer we got to home, seems the better he started to feel. Ive started to notice that when we are gone for a few days fishing, hes really only good for one day. The times we go to Venice for 3-4 days, he'll sit one out. We get home about 9p and he seems to be fine.......

So this morning as we are washing the boat I decide to have a man to man talk with him. I start off with some minor talk about him getting sick bla bla bla, and I just ask him right out, Son do you like fishing? hes says "yeah sure" I said really? "what do you think about going on a week long fishing trip to big lake, or Venice or even ALASKA? and heres where my heart sank.... he says "EEH, I don't know about going for that long dad, that's seems like a long time" I said ok no biggy, just asking, he said "dad I think you like fishing more then anyone in the whole world!" that was his way of telling me he dosent like it as much as I do.... Talk about a kick in the stomach . I never let him know I was really bothered by this and this has been eating at me all day. The rest of the day was normal, never let on how much I was bumming. He finally went to his mommas (he live with his mother) and I told him I loved him and will see him next weekend, our normal routine.

This has really got me in the dumps, I grew up fishing with my dad, thats all he loved to do, and took me with him, and I grew up loving it. Hell Id ride my bike to lakes and ponds with a fishing pole, some hooks, worms and a stringer and come home with it full. My son dosent seem to have that passion that me and my pops had. He likes it, but hes only good for a day.

Im hoping things will change, maybe, but my fear is as he gets older, he'll have less and less time for dad and his fishing

Sorry just wanted to get this off my chest with like minded people, my wife dosent get it either

Thanks guys

[MathGeek]

I've got a couple children (teens now) who like fishing and one who doesn't. My youngest son loves it, my daughter is good for 3-4 trips a year, my older son comes along and doesn't complain too much, but wishes he could stay at home. (He can when appropriate supervision is available, not always possible for a week long trip.)

When you can, just leave the kid with his momma or a relative if he doesn't want to go fishing. I think he'll look back with fond memories, and if he doesn't take his own kids fishing, he'll bring them to you to do it. What more can you ask for?

[Country Boy]

My son did the same to me with hunting when he was younger. I would take him hunting for the weekend and come to find out one day my wife tells me he told her that he doesn't care much for hunting and leaving all weekend and that he just comes with me to make me happy, once she told me that I just let it go. it kinda bothered me but didn't let it get to me to much, as he got older he started to ask to go again, not sure how old your son is but maybe when he gets older he might change his mind.

[wed68]

No worries if I were you, you have taught him right. It is a much different time now then when we grew up, there is so much more stimulus to keep kids minds busy that the things that we grew up loving get somewhat lost in the shuffle. I have three kids that are spread out from 21 to 4 years old. The teen age years are the worst for parents, kids pull away and become independent, thats not such a bad thing. Hopefully we teach them right and one day they will return to the things we love, but it they dont its our duty to understand that they are their own person and may or may not love hunting and fishing as we do. I believe that this is all complicated with divorced parents as you apparently are and I am as well. I am assuming this is your first child to go thru this, it hurts but it will get better. Sorry for the long posts but I do completely understand what you are going thru it, my 16 year old just started driving so he is very independent. We continue to do what my wife and I enjoy and if he wants to come to the camp he can, let them decide.

Stay Strong they need us to be Strong

[bjhooper82]

Originally Posted by Country Boy

My son did the same to me with hunting when he was younger. I would take him hunting for the weekend and come to find out one day my wife tells me he told her that he doesn't care much for hunting and leaving all weekend and that he just comes with me to make me happy, once she told me that I just let it go. it kinda bothered me but didn't let it get to me to much, as he got older he started to ask to go again, not sure how old your son is but maybe when he gets older he might change his mind.

This is probably the same route I would take. If you try to force him to go, he might only start to hate it more.

[saute86]

I have been through it too with 3 sons. They are now more interested in 2 legged deer that smell like fish. Be patient he will start fishing and hunting again. The seed is planted.

[cajun bill]

Uhhh, can I suggest another possible reason (having had some experience with this in my former life as the father of a teenage boy)? He's a teenager, with friends (who ain't his dad) and maybe some of them are called........ "girls"? Just mentioning a possibility.

Have patience, he'll be back.

[B-Stealth]

I know they already said it but my guess would be a Doe in Heat, that he's been tracking for the last couple weeks.

[Renegade]

It happens. Fathers and sons have different interests.

My grandfather loved hunting. My father would go with him, but didn't like it as much as my grandfather did. My father eventually stopped going hunting altogether. I would go hunting with my grandfather every chance I got.

My father's thing is fishing. He would gladly go on those week long fishing trips with you. I've never been on a week long fishing trip. Heck, three days is too much for me. Yet, I went fishing today by myself. Fished four hours and came home. People are just different.

Don't feel like you've failed because you haven't. However, I would definitely try to find other ways to spend time with my son. The important thing is the time we spend together, not what we spent it doing.

[redalertlures]

Brother I feel you pain and I agree with everyone's sentiments, he will come back...but I want to make this suggestion...

The next visit you have with him, have him plan the weekends activities. If fishing is involved, kool, if not...just go do whatever he wants to do..

I have a daughter that just turned 21 and just finished her 3rd year of nursing school. She lived with me all her teenage years...we compromised and would do a weekend for her and a weekend for me...right up until she discovers BOYS!! them yukky disgusting things LOLOL

Now I am sorta starting over with two stepsons 8,12 and stepdaughter 15...its gna be interesting LOL

Good luck my friend.

[saodma]

I know MY Brother and I was different. From the Age of 2 I would stay put as long as needed. I loved it and still do to this day. My brother was only good for a few hours tops. He just did not care for it.

My daughter is 8 and she wants to go but also wants to come home as soon as we get there. lol. Take what you can get and enjoy the times you do have.

[jpeff31787]

Well it seems he likes to go, but not too many days in a row. Hell, I LOVE to fish and sometimes I don't feel like going every day, maybe he's just that kind of dude. If I had to guess though, he will like more as he gets a little older. Does he normally play video games or hang out with friends/siblings/cousins when he's not fishing, if so maybe he just wanted to hang out and do that. Also maybe see if he'd like to bring anyone fishing, and bring the two of them. I know as I grew up, my brother and I really liked hanging out with our cousin, so dad would bring all of us fishing and I have to say it stuck pretty well as we still do it every chance we get and we will drop just about any plans if we can go with our old fishing friends/cousins

[Redneckyacker]

When my son was about the same age he started not wanting to hunt and fish as much as I did and would find an excuse not to go or his commitment to sports would keep both of us off the water or out of the woods, he's in collage now and when he's home I can't take off enough to hit the water with him. He found his passion for fishing again and the best part is he wants to do it with me. Hope this helps, I know its hard now but just wait him out and he'll come back around.

[marty f]

Thanks guys, nice to know there are other that know the course, been there done that. This has kinda taken the wind out of my sails over fishing. Kinda feel like parking the boat and forgetting about it.... guess I need to get back on that horse and ride.

I sure hope he comes around. Don't get me wrong hes likes fishing (well "catching") but after one day hes done for a while. I respect his feelings and have never pushed this on him, that's a sure fire way of making him hate it. Yesterdays conversation was just a confirmation of something I had been suspecting. Was just a desire for me to have the same thing me and my pops did. Now that my pops is gone, was hoping to recapture that. My son was never able to meet his grandpa.

I do agree, there are 100X more things to grab his attention then when I grew up.

Thanks guys, thank you very much

[krazykat]

A sunrise to 3:30 trip is probably too long for a 13 year old who is only marginally into it.

[BloodKnot]

I have three young sons. I hope that one of them wants to go as much as I do.

I was the youngest of three boys. The oldest has nothing to do with the outdoors. The middle likes the outdoors and I hate that I'm not in a boat right now.

Everyone is different. Don't force the issue. One day we may figure out he loves the outdoors, just in a different way, such as camping, hiking, etc.

But I did just buy my 4 year old his first zebco. He keeps saying he wants to go fishing so we going to go this weekend and try to catch some out of a pond.

[meaux fishing]

Originally Posted by krazykat

A sunrise to 3:30 trip is probably too long for a 13 year old who is only marginally into it.

good point. next time yall go Marty cut the trip down to go back at 11-12, go eat lunch at Darrells, relax a little while and maybe take an afternoon trip if he's interested.

[Duck Butter]

Most grown men can't handle eleven straight hours of fishing

Don't worry about it, maybe shorten the trip a little bit. It gets real hot after lunchtime.

[marty f]

Originally Posted by krazykat

A sunrise to 3:30 trip is probably too long for a 13 year old who is only marginally into it.

Originally Posted by meaux fishing

good point. next time yall go Marty cut the trip down to go back at 11-12, go eat lunch at Darrells, relax a little while and maybe take an afternoon trip if he's interested.

That's some sound advice, maybe starting off later in the day, but man I hate missing that morning bite! haha

[Ed32]

Originally Posted by jpeff31787

Well it seems he likes to go, but not too many days in a row. Hell, I LOVE to fish and sometimes I don't feel like going every day, maybe he's just that kind of dude. If I had to guess though, he will like more as he gets a little older. Does he normally play video games or hang out with friends/siblings/cousins when he's not fishing, if so maybe he just wanted to hang out and do that. Also maybe see if he'd like to bring anyone fishing, and bring the two of them. I know as I grew up, my brother and I really liked hanging out with our cousin, so dad would bring all of us fishing and I have to say it stuck pretty well as we still do it every chance we get and we will drop just about any plans if we can go with our old fishing friends/cousins

This^^^^. My oldest son is an introvert who likes to spend time alone. He likes to fish and deer hunt but hates duck hunting. So when I go duck hunting I Leave him at the camp by himself (he's 15) and he gets to enjoy time alone. He likes all the other aspects of camp life and in the evenings we do things he likes such as playing chess. Also once a month i take a whole day and we do whatever he wants to do. All people are different and it seems lots of members here have had kids who disliked outdoors but returned to them later in life.