Man's best friend

[eman]

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the world and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that crap. Never mind.