Stupid things you've told your wife

[PaulMyers]

Originally Posted by Goggleeye11

I'll teach you to fish.

LOL

[Captain Mike P.]

Told my F-I-L that I like when his daughter is real drunk because she sleeps with her mouth open. He laughed his *** off!! She didn't enjoy the humor....

[Wide Open]

Mine asked me if I'd hold the other end of the king sized sheet the other night to help her fold them. While assisting her you could see the sparkle in her eye that I would actually stop what I was doing (nothing) to help when I couldn't help myself and said " these the sheets or your underware"?
Believe it or not my ole' lady has one of the greatest personalities one could have. I cought some grief over it , but not near as much as the wrenolds wrap on the toilet seat after a long nights work on the computer! Lol

[Wide Open]

Poor thing was all fancied up one mirnin for work, and I mean fancy ( designers pant suit)!
When she went to wash her coffe cup out to find the knozzle in the kitchen sink mysteriously had electrical tape wrapped around it!
She was soo P oooed she stayed home and worked that day!

[fishinpox]

Originally Posted by Wide Open

Poor thing was all fancied up one mirnin for work, and I mean fancy ( designers pant suit)!
When she went to wash her coffe cup out to find the knozzle in the kitchen sink mysteriously had electrical tape wrapped around it!
She was soo P oooed she stayed home and worked that day!

Mine did that to me once!

[southern151]

Originally Posted by Wide Open

Poor thing was all fancied up one mirnin for work, and I mean fancy ( designers pant suit)!
When she went to wash her coffe cup out to find the knozzle in the kitchen sink mysteriously had electrical tape wrapped around it!
She was soo P oooed she stayed home and worked that day!

You just gave me an idea!! Thanks a LOT!

[Ragin_Cajun]

Good ones on here!

After a night of boozing it up we were arguing about something and she said to me "YOUR A FU*%@NG DUMB@SS!!!! To which my infinate wisdom hollerred back, "you married me, who is the FU(&%NG DUMB@SS Now!

I heard crickets for a week!

In another heated argument she threatened to leave me so "I can go find another girl". I said something to the fact, hell. i'm not getting married again, all i need is a maid and a hooker!

That was a VERY LONG MONTH!!!!! Still love her in our own quirky ways!

[saodma]

The worst I have said. Wife asked how her a$$ looked. I told her it looked like a hood of an old white ford that had been through a hail storm.

She is still not happy with that one.

[simplepeddler]

As soon as the boat is done and paid for you can anything you want.....

I'm down a pool and a condo so far

[Goggleeye11]

Nine months pregnant and crying, told me " I look like a hippo"

I replied, "well you're a cute hippo" Crying immediately got louder and more annoying.

[swt70611]

Alright after those laughs I'll have to bite.

One night with friends over I made some smartass comment. She made everyone laugh saying " keep it up and I'll cut you off" not to have one up on me I replied " you can't, you don't know where I'm getting it.

last year my sweet wife got diet crazy. After 3 months she had dropped 30lbs and was looking damn good. I told her one night I needed to get off my butt and lose 20 or so. Being a sweetheart she told me no you don't you look fine. I figure I'd pay her a compliment and told her. Heck no baby, I'm not gunna be the fat dude married to the hot chic.

She replied, what where you before? backfire.....

[southern151]

Originally Posted by swt70611

Alright after those laughs I'll have to bite.

One night with friends over I made some smartass comment. She made everyone laugh saying " keep it up and I'll cut you off" not to have one up on me I replied " you can't, you don't know where I'm getting it.

last year my sweet wife got diet crazy. After 3 months she had dropped 30lbs and was looking damn good. I told her one night I needed to get off my butt and lose 20 or so. Being a sweetheart she told me no you don't you look fine. I figure I'd pay her a compliment and told her. Heck no baby, I'm not gunna be the fat dude married to the hot chic.

She replied, what where you before? backfire.....

That is what is commonly referred to as a catch-22 or, "Oh %#$) , how do I get out of this?!"

[swt70611]

Originally Posted by southern151

That is what is commonly referred to as a catch-22 or, "Oh %#$) , how do I get out of this?!"

Luckily she laughed....... she knew she was fat

[Reefman]

Woke up one morning, turned to my sleeping wife and said "Good morning Luv, what have I done wrong today?".

[RonnieF]

Mine asked, do these pants make my but look big? Then I asked, what do the pants have to do with it? She didn't really appreciate that one!

One night I'm joking around with her and say "I'm getting me some tonight" : her reply, "who said I was giving you some" to which I replied "who said I was talking about you?"

I'm still alive & we're still together after 24 years!

[swamp snorkler]

Mine asked one day "I wonder why women get periods"....... I said "I don't know about the rest but you get one because you deserve it!"

That didn't go over to well

Then I said, "naw baby I'm just messing with you, it's to bleed some of the b!7ch out once a month"

[fun w son]

after mine heard a smart a$$ comment i said to her brothers about her yelled, "two words Bo- CUT OFF" and in the next breath i yelled "two more words Steph- FROM WHAT"... i thought her brothers were gonna fall on the floor. it pays to think FAST FELLAS!

[Deerfarmer]

Told mine that I always heard that men with large stomachs are building a shed over their tools. I had never heard of a woman building a shed over the playground.

[Trout Princess]

Originally Posted by Deerfarmer

Told mine that I always heard that men with large stomachs are building a shed over their tools. I had never heard of a woman building a shed over the playground.

Oh No! That's just wrong! Men, be nice to your women. They love you unconditionally and deserve kind, loving words. A little kidding around is great but let that woman know she means everything to you. You don't want to lose a good thing.

[southern151]

Bout to head to the house for the evening. Gotta run back into the shop first and get my black electrical tape...Thanks to the a-hole that gave me the idea. I'll take pictures of what happened to me in the morning!