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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 07-12-2011, 10:10 AM
eman eman is offline
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9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3
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  #2  
Old 07-12-2011, 10:13 AM
DUCKGOGETTER DUCKGOGETTER is offline
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Man ain't that the truth
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  #3  
Old 07-12-2011, 10:13 AM
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southern151 southern151 is offline
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My gosh! This is my house in text form! Why did you wait so long to post this?! It could have saved many arguments had I known this previously!
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  #4  
Old 07-12-2011, 11:27 AM
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SaltERedneck SaltERedneck is offline
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thats sooo true
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  #5  
Old 07-12-2011, 11:35 AM
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evidrine evidrine is offline
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Man, that #8 is a killer. I get that all the time....
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Old 07-12-2011, 11:56 AM
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Gonna print this and put it on the fridge so I can reference it as needed......thanks bro!
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Old 07-12-2011, 11:58 AM
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I get #4 the most........which is followed later by #1 thru #8
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Old 07-12-2011, 12:09 PM
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SaltERedneck SaltERedneck is offline
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I know we are talking about words.... but the worst IMO is the silent "DEAD" stare. NO words just cold hearted silence. sends chills down my back. Thats the "calm" before the storm to me.
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Old 07-12-2011, 12:31 PM
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iron man iron man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltERedneck View Post
I know we are talking about words.... but the worst IMO is the silent "DEAD" stare. NO words just cold hearted silence. sends chills down my back. Thats the "calm" before the storm to me.
x2. had it with a few gfs
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Old 07-12-2011, 05:44 PM
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ScubaLatt ScubaLatt is offline
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