anybody have experience with child custody in LA

[Keywest18]

So my wife has domisarry but joint custody. We are hoping to be able to move back to MS next year but have to go to court first. All i know so far os we have to tell the.childs father we want to move and he has 30 days to deny it then we'll have to go to court. Anybody know how that process works? What questions theyll ask? Just curious what we're up against

[MathGeek]

Going to court over custody issues can be expensive and frustrating. The attorneys are the only real winners, and the litigants usually do not significantly improve on the status quo.

You should work with the father to see if an agreement can be worked out so he does not oppose the move. Agreeing to pay/provide the children's transportation expenses several times a year for them to visit the father would likely be a lot cheaper than a court battle if the father opposes moving the children. Depending on the father's concerns, concessions regarding improving the children's education may also be important to him.

Only the government and the attorneys consistenty win in court. The government wins because they are spending other people's money, and the attorney's win because they profit from the fights and woes of others.

[Keywest18]

Well he definitely doesnt work with us at all on alot of things and i know hes not going to agree on moving. Basically wjat i was told is that since we're the ones wanting to move if awarded all he has to do is say he.cant.afford to travel and we would be responsible for traveling expenses (bringing him to and from). which would make it not worth the move. We're trying to avoid court but thats what it looks likes its going to come down to.

[jchief]

My son is going through custody battle now, and I agree 100% with MathGeek.

Attorney fees are about $3000 so far and he hasn't been to court yet.

[MathGeek]

These kinds of cases (and other kinds of court cases too, court is expensive) tend to run 5-10k per court date in legal expenses. And the most likely outcome of any given court date is . . . another court date . . . without a change in the status quo. It typically takes 3-6 court dates to get an order changing the status quo, and maintaining the status quo is much cheaper and less demanding than changing the status quo. Do the math here on how much $$,$$$ it is likely to take to change the status quo.

A Louisiana court (most likely) has granted joint custody. Most likely, a Louisiana court will view a request to move out of state over the father's objections as an attempt to reduce the father's influence and input into the childrens' lives, especially if the justification isn't much more than a lifestyle preference by the mother and step father.

Even if you have justifications that would be viewed by the court as more than lifestyle preferences (and can make a case that the move is in the best interests of the children) the justifications will be weighed against the reduced opportunity for paternal input and affection, and this is where changing the status quo will likely require multiple visits to court and five or six figures of legal investment, not to mention months or years of time and stress for the marriage and the children.

If you must move, negotiate an arrangement with the father. In the long run, it will likely be better for your step-children and for your marriage than slugging it out in court. Make an offer where the children are the clear winners in a move: offer to send the children to a nice private school, or offer to meet some long held wish of each child: a horse, or a musical instrument with private lessons, or gymnastics lessons, or ..." Whatever it is that would really bless each child. Children give up a lot in an interstate move: existing friendships, the stress of a new school and new neighborhood, new sports teams and clubs, etc. Convince the father that the children will be the big winners, and pray that God will open his eyes and heart.

[Keywest18]

Well my stepson is three and we were hoping that simce.he is so young and not in a routine of things such as school, friends, etc that that wont be an issue. Its no so much as a lifestyle change or anything its just my family and my wifes family are all in MS. Only reason we are here is because she is military.....

[Douglas Gilbert]

Just look at it from his (her ex) point of view. What does he have to gain from you leaving the state with his child? Probably very litle or nothing. And in fact he has a lot to lose. You cannot price time with your children, nor the influence. Would you and your wife be willing to move to Ms and leave the child with the natural father?
There are complex and critical issues and should be decided with only the child's interest in mind. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. If the child and his father don't want the child to move and you do it anyway you will cause irrepairable damage. This has the very well being of a child at risk. Not an issue for the courts.

[bambam075]

From what i have seen. If he says no its no. The courts will not budge. I know of a co worker that has domisarry custody and she wanted to move within the state and the ex said no so she took him to court and they ruled in his favor. And again this was within the state.

[budndawn]

In my case it was moving my wife from texas to here...it was a battle, but once she offered to wave his child support he jumped all over the idea...