Help ID a snake?

[Clafleur]

To tell the whole story, I was about to feed my son dinner and my mom came running in my house. She tripped, stubbed her toe, and was yelling get your shovel! So I got my shovel and saw the snake head sticking out about 3 inches from under my house. So I went and got my Winchester defender 12g and put a #8 in it. The neighborhood crackheads were walking down the street looking at my crazy *** standing on the porch with a shovel and shot gun. I nudged its tail and it tried to turn back under the house so I shot it in its mid section trying not to shoot my house. It cut it in half and the head kept on a trucking under my house. I couldn't shoot it again under the house. That little bastard bunkered in under the middle of my house. S then I tried to pepper spray it to make it come out but my spray was empty. I finally managed to get it out after soaking it with the water hose then I went babe Ruth on it with the shovel!
The end