Am I asking for to much

[longcast]

Originally Posted by Jordan

is she the other color ?

That's just wrong bro. *****.

[tumbleweed]

Thanks for the help. He does not drink or do drugs. His addiction is gambling. It's just as bad as drugs. I just stoped at my house on my way to class. Yup he is still sleeping. Once again thanks for the help. Btw salty I'm with you. I don't think I could toss my Lil girl out. My boy is a diff story.lol.

Gambling, Drugs, they are one in the same.

[LaAngler]

kick him out before the ol lady kicks ya both out.....LOL

print out map to nearest homeless shelter

[SaltERedneck]

Originally Posted by longcast

Thanks for the help. He does not drink or do drugs. His addiction is gambling. It's just as bad as drugs. I just stoped at my house on my way to class. Yup he is still sleeping. Once again thanks for the help. Btw salty I'm with you. I don't think I could toss my Lil girl out. My boy is a diff story.lol.

I just meant in a vague description... an addict is an addict. take away one addiction and they will find another. I dont know the story, just wanted to tell you my experience with it. I used to get the whole "its not hurting you soo why do you care" bit... in fact it does hurt everyone. Rationalization, denial, diversion, simplification, justification, blame... they are all toxic and seem to be the trend for people who need help outside of themselves. Until someone can come to the realization that they can not fix their own problems, things will never change. They have to realize that the other person is not the problem. In fact, they are usually the ones who create these problems for themselves. Whether its gambling or drugs, people look for something outside themselves to feel good.

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Salty

Some of the kids are.

Stop tryin' to hijack the dude's thread.

yessa massa

[Duck Butter]

One of the best things that happened to me is when my mother kicked me to the curb at 20. I dropped out of college, was not working, just hunted and fished and slept on the couch and drank. I must have been a real POS for my mom to do that. Went and lived with my grandparents and went to work and finally got back in school. Its pretty cool not having to be responsible until you run out of money

Sit his azz down and tell him the deal, he has x amount of time at your house and he must find somewhere else. I promise you that our wife is not happy with you right now, its cool for a little while, but gotta go

[BigChaf]

I have some nice cardboard boxes at my office I would be glad to donate, easy to keep clean and he can sleep as long as he wants too, Man to Man tough love is your only option. Your marriage and kids are the only one's that will suffer, if you don't give your brother an ultimatum.

[BellPepperHead]

Originally Posted by longcast

Thanks for the help. He does not drink or do drugs. His addiction is gambling. It's just as bad as drugs. I just stoped at my house on my way to class. Yup he is still sleeping. Once again thanks for the help. Btw salty I'm with you. I don't think I could toss my Lil girl out. My boy is a diff story.lol.

How does he get money to gamble?

["W"]

This is real simple......... Rents due on the 1st of each month......He is late right now!! So eviction

[longcast]

He is prob not doing a buch of gambling now. He has friends that take him to the casinos and if he wins they split the money. He plays poker. Btw his last job was at cashatta in Kender. He would gamble his tips after work.

[blackmamba]

Tell him he has X amount of time to find a place but until then he has to leave when y'all leave and can't come back until after 5. Take his key and hope that forces him to find a job during the day... It worked for my buddy that was on my couch. Didn't last long either, I think 1 week

[fishinpox]

Originally Posted by SaltERedneck

Ok, this situation is a catch 22... u wanna help the person out bc they are family. but you dont want to enable his behavior. Addicts are master manipulators. It is one thing to let family crash in times of crisis and another to keep them sheltered from the real world. Sounds like this kid is manipulating the situation. Don't ever expect to get that money back first of all. Family borrowed money is family kept money. Siblings are manipulative especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Typically, when asked about prior money borrowing an addict/alcoholic will make up excuses as to why they dont have the money... "i will have it next week" slogan. Sometimes you have to "let go." Families hate to let go, well bc its family and they always wanna protect. It usually takes a spiritual awakening or an unseen event (jail, institution, rehab) to change the life of these unfortunate. i dont know your situation but either way... YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY>>> NOT HIM

sounds like some bill w stuff if u ask me

[Ray]

Lock him out of the house if he is not in by 10 pm.
Tell him his job is to cut the grass, take out the garbage, do his own laundry and make sure there are no dirty dishes before he goes to bed.
If he don't work, he would have to take care of the things you guys normaly do at home. He has plenty of time if he doesn't work.
No money or work, no bed.

[flounder_smacker]

when everyone leaves in the morn and hes still sleeping cut the breaker off to the ac and put a lock on the breaker panel. i bet he wont sleep long and may get up and do something productive. if its hard for u just to say hey get out just do things to show him youre tired of the bs

[skinman]

Sounds like he's going to stay there as long as you let him. You gotta put your wife and kids first. They are your priority. There's no doubt you love your brother, but I"m pretty sure the wife isn't too happy about the situation. You know the ol saying... "If Momma ain't happy.... no one's getting laid", or something like that...

[huntin fool]

Originally Posted by skinman

"If Momma ain't happy.... no one's getting laid", or something like that...

Close enough

[jpeff31787]

don't have time to read previous comments, but first definitely make him help out by maybe making a list and making sure he does it. Tell him that as long as he is living there he does all the lawn work, washes vehicles, and so on. I'd make his arse pay for himself.

I know its your brother and I could never kick my brother out the house, but I'd definitely have to TELL him to help out or get out.

Goodluck to y'all both man

[LPfishnTIM]

I've never gone more than 3 weeks w/o having a Job since I graduated High School. and its pretty easy to find a $10+/hour Job if your not in school have a vehicle and you want to work. Don't take any excuses, Your Brother can make something happen as far as a job and shelter if he really cared to.

[Hebert]

tell him he's gambling with his place to stay and the house ALWAYS wins.. if he don't get a job...or do the things you ask...maybe he will understand that...

[longcast]

I just left my house and he is still sleeping.I actually gave him an ultimatum sun. I told him If I did not see a change he was gone Friday. Looks like he is going to make me go through with it. I'm going to cancel his car insurance and he will need to be gone when I get off of work Friday. Me and my wife talked about this last night. Her biggest problem is he lies to her. Damn this makes me feel like ****. I gotta do what I gotta do.