Need some parenting help.....

[simplepeddler]

First of all......if you have no child in your home now, like yours or one that was given to you to help raise.....(Remember God gave his own son to another man to raise, Dink and I have said this before the step dad thing is a huge deal when you look at from this point of view) then really it's hard to take an opinion seriously. I mean that with a ton of respect for all you guys, really. But life is different when you have your own, you all hopefully be blessed enough to understand that one day.

Dink you have your hands full.
I do not think a child, regardless of sex, is mentally mature enough to have sex at 13.
Let him know you know in a soft way, let him know how to protect himself from HIV and sorted other STD's, protection from pregnancy is protecting you and mom as much if not more than him. HE and SHE will likely NOT be raising the chance of a child of this poor decision making.

There is no way in hell I would even come close to saying it's alright.
Let him now you understand you cannot watch him 100% of the time, then let him know it's about respect. Would he respect these young girls later.

Being a gentleman is a far cry from today's definition of a man.
These things disturb me really.

And for what's it's worth, I have my first grandchild coming, out of wedlock, from my bonus boy, who was having sex at 14 cause his dad thought he was the man........yea and he is around now to help........yea.......in another life time.

Take your roll as serious as penis cancer here Dink. The boy is lucky to have you, we all see that here on this board, hopefully he will too.

[Hopedale Hustler]

Its not about that...of course we don't condole sex at 13..JDd can't get it through his head....I'm just saying be a friend in this situation and a father the more u try to hold em back the crazier that look in his eye is gonna get

[Kenner18]

I wish I would have had someone to talk to me about things . Instead I learned from my buddies . Trust me at 16 I was no where ready to be a father ,nor was I ready to tell my parents . So anything you do is gonna be better than nothing at all.

[southern151]

I was "active" at 13. Good idea?...Of course not!...Reality?...Yes. Information is EVERYTHING. Be there for him and teach him that having a baby is likely the easiest part of some of the things that can happen today. Kids are kids and puberty raises "issues" in both sexes. Do they know what to do with them?...Most likely not but, they know what they've heard.

Now, who did they hear it from becomes the question. If they heard from a father/mother/true loved one, they may go forth to satisfy their urges but, hopefully, they go forth with caution. If they heard it from one of their "knows everything at 13-15 yrs old" friends, they're gonna go forth with reckless abandon!

My dad was a parent at 17 and he harped caution and safety in this topic. He didn't want to see any of his 3 kids make the same mistake that he did. Guess what...I listened. I was three weeks shy of 28 when my first was born. I'm glad he talked to me because I would have been a horrible parent any earlier than that.

my .02

[Bluechip]

Originally Posted by speck-chaser

Guess it's too late for pecan huh?

Lol....

[speck-chaser]

Just let him know,that if the lil girls Dad catches him with his daughter, he will probably get the crap beat out of him!!! That would be a real weenie shrinker!!! I know one thing, the high fives wont be near as fun or as high if the lil girl turns up pregnant. Thats more of a life changing experience than the sex will ever be. There are a lot of lil dudes out there that will run from their responsibility as a father if the girl gets pregnant. Thats definately not one of the steps of becoming a man!!!

[fishinpox]

i dont have any kids , if i had a daughter and i found this out i would lock her in the basement till she was 35! lol if i had a son i would have a man to man talk and let him know i was in his shoes once and that there are always consequences for your actions( babies, stds, girls dad kicking yer arse ect) i feel i have no right to tell them they can do something i did at or close to that age but i wont let them walk into that situation un informed. honestly when i got a divorce i was scared as s h** to get back in the game with all the diseases around , luckily i met a girl who is the complete oppisite of any girl i have dated b4 ...she is a respectable girl that i can bring home to mama

[Bluechip]

Originally Posted by speck-chaser

Just let him know,that if the lil girls Dad catches him with his daughter, he will probably get the crap beat out of him!!! That would be a real weenie shrinker!!! I know one thing, the high fives wont be near as fun or as high if the lil girl turns up pregnant. Thats more of a life changing experience than the sex will ever be. There are a lot of lil dudes out there that will run from their responsibility as a father if the girl gets pregnant. Thats definately not one of the steps of becoming a man!!!

Timmnnnn, just give him the talk you gave to Kyle (who is 13 yrs old) last Friday night in the parking lot at Cocahoe's....you were telling how to pick up women and a few other things....Remember?????

[PaulMyers]

Originally Posted by Bluechip

Timmnnnn, just give him the talk you gave to Kyle (who is 13 yrs old) last Friday night in the parking lot at Cocahoe's....you were telling how to pick up women and a few other things....Remember?????

The truth will set you free! LOL

EVO

[Hopedale Hustler]

There are no basements in la lol

[Capt.B]

Originally Posted by huntin fool

Dude. Take him outside and down the road for a talk, tell your wife you will fuss at him. Give him a high five and say word got around about some kids doin' the deed and wanted to tell him if he does, wrap it in foil before he checks her oil.

And odds are he will say "already did dad"

Props to little Lafleur..

Good advice fool!! Practice what ya preach hommie!! Not only will that aviod making tricycle motors but will keep you from gettn sumptn penicillin wont take off!! Educate abt de (gona herpa sypha aids)!!!!

[Deerfarmer]

Originally Posted by Hopedale Hustler

Dude seriously y does every post on this site have atleast one person in it that can't just state their opinion and be done....dude let us know how u feel and that's it...not all people believe wat you believe or feel the way you do. No one is saying it makes u a man...but it is a big.part and step twoards manhood.

No it doesn't make you a man. But at age 13 they feel like it does. They are growing up. Let him here it from his dad, not from a sex ed teacher, kids at school or anywhere else. My wife and I had our kids together, raised them together. I didn't let a scout leader, teacher, or anyone else take over that job. Have a heart to heart, man to man talk with him. You will be nervous but you will do okay. You will do okay because you love him and show him that. My son hated me sometimes but later he thanked me for not letting him run wild like some of his buddies. Good luck.

[mcjaredsandwich]

Worst thing you can do is not talk about it. My parents never told me a thing about it, gave me a book to read. Lost mine at 16 she was 15. Had no clue what I was doing. Knew enough to use a rubber. I ended up alright.

[jchief]

Tim, take him to get a burger or whatever he likes and lead in with, I know a lot of kids your age are exploring sex now and I think we should talk about it.

You are getting lots of good advice here. There is no right way to do this. You know him best. Don't be accusatory or opionated about it. He needs a Dad/friend. If you don't talk to him about sex, he will learn it from his friends.

[its all good]

We all did it. Some earlier than others, some more often. That does not mean it is ok. I would try not to let him know how you found out. But talk to him. We all have desires, but have to use self control or risk destroying our marrige, family, friends, finances. When I talk to my kids about any thing, I talk about it from several different points of view, his, mine, friends, GOD. I personally am catholic. If you are not a practicing christian, it is never to late to start. Unmarried sex is a sin in all christian religions (I THINK). My friend is a nurse. They tell their kids the horror stories: pregnacies, diseases, drunk driving fatalities and injuries, drug over doses, etc. I got a book at a christian book store. It gives advice for kids of all different ages. Most of the books are not written from a religious stand point. Its more of a how to talk to your child and about what to talk about. It is possible to let them know you are disappointed in a kind manner so that it will encourage open and honest communication between yall. Good luck and I will keep your family in my prayers.

I would also look up pictures on the net of STD'S , DRUG OVER DOSES (I know of one that got high and thought roaches were all over him. He sprayed raid in his mouth up his butt then rodded him self out with a toilet brush. He had lots of reconstructive surgeries.), and alcahol related accidents.

[jpcajun]

parenting help on a fishing board?!?!?!? Hmmmm.....

[Salty]

Originally Posted by Montauk17

Can't give you any of my advice from my teen days....I was wetting my bed at 13

[LPfishnTIM]

my parents were ministers, when I was growing up, My mom spent time counseling pregnant moms who were considering abortions and tried to divert them to other options like adoption, everytime I took a girl out, My dad would tell me "REMEMBER THAT GIRL IS A DAUGHTER OF GOD, YOU BETTER TREAT HER THAT WAY!" I guess those were the voices in my head, plus when I was in High School, all my friends made some stupid mistakes, I learned from them, avoid the situation all together and things can't go wrong!

[Salty]

Originally Posted by Hopedale Hustler

Dude seriously y does every post on this site have atleast one person in it that can't just state their opinion and be done....dude let us know how u feel and that's it...not all people believe wat you believe or feel the way you do. No one is saying it makes u a man...but it is a big.part and step twoards manhood.

Not with my daughter...it ain't!

[Salty]

Originally Posted by jpcajun

parenting help on a fishing board?!?!?!? Hmmmm.....

Don't be shocked by what comes up here.