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southern151 · #1 01-06-2011, 06:08 PM

An English ventriloquist visiting Big Lake walks up to a house and sees W sitting on his patio petting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to W

'Gooday, mind if I talk to your dog?'

W: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid English bastard.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

W: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

W: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

W: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

W: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

W: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

W: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar……'