Neologisms

[shrky57]

Most of us can identify people we know with these NEOLOGISMS, some may qualify more than once.


1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.


3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.


6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.


7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.


13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.


14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Then take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.


3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.


4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.


8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)