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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 07-13-2011, 09:50 PM
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Default Boating/Fishing mishap stories

Lets hear some boat/fishing mishaps that have happened in the past.
Here's mine,

I took my brothers 89 Skeeter out for a trolling motor test in December in 32 degrees. We took off a 55lb and put a 70lb thrust on it. We tested it to check if we hooked it up right the night before. The front deck on this boat wasn't the biggest in the boat world. I stopped to fish, put the trolling motor down and I went to plug it in and didn't realized it was pointed to go left, and on hyperspeed and switched on constant on. I plugged it in and the boat quickly darted left throwing me off balance and into freezing cold water. The boat spun in circles across the bayou and into the other bank. Leaving me in neck deep water. Coldest boatride back ever.
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:06 PM
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Ok, launched my 27' Grady White at Hebert's one day headed offshore. We get about 1/2 way across the lake and hit a dang crab trap (it was dark and we had a q-beam but the dang float was black!). So we stop to remove said rope from prop. Go to get back on plane and boat will not plane out AND the cabin A/C goes out. Look in bilge and see water 1/2 way up generator! OH no, forgot to put plug in! Water now covering 1/2 generator and all 4 batteries. Head back towards Hebert's and get to the launch only to find about 10 boats in line. Meanwhile I have both bilge pumps going trying to keep boat from sinking at the launch. Thank goodness the trucks let us cut in line and put boat on trailer. Waterline was over the engine pee hole by the time we get her back on the trailer. Lost generator to salt water corrosioin -- $5000 mistake.
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:07 PM
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Reminds me of this...

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  #4  
Old 07-13-2011, 10:09 PM
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Man.....I could write a book!! Bill Dance got nuthin on me
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  #5  
Old 07-13-2011, 10:12 PM
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I launched at BSM one morning in winter, headed to stump lagoon, then to lake eugene, on the way back in crooked bayou I drove a ground and spun my prop hub, I made it back going slow, it only took me 3 hours. I will never again run that far from the launch w/o a spare prop ever again!
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  #6  
Old 07-13-2011, 10:18 PM
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I've had several over the years. Only two really stick. First one was running crab traps in v bay with my grandpaw in rough seas. We were in my 14' alweld at the time. Waves started coming over the back of the boat and we sunk in seconds. Good thing we were in shallow water and we pushed the boat on the bank and bailed it out. No harm done to the boat or motor. Second one we were lucky to make it out alive. My dad and I were fishing a bass tournament in the basin out of bayou beniot. We hit a mud flat running 75mph just south of the GA cut. Lost control of the boat when the motor came out the water. We ended up sideways headed to the bank.....hit a wooden dock and tore up a brand new skeeter. We walked away with minor cuts and bruises.
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  #7  
Old 07-13-2011, 10:23 PM
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I was fishing with a friend in Venice in his small aluminum bass boat. I hooked a big red on the front deck and the fish made a run to the back of the boat. I attempted to follow the fish by running the rail on the side of the boat and lost my balance and over the side I went. I quickly got back to the surface, hand my pole to my buddy, got back in the boat, and reeled my fish in!!
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  #8  
Old 07-13-2011, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Montauk17 View Post
Thanks Montauk, I needed a good laugh before I went to bed. Dat some funny stuff right there.
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  #9  
Old 02-08-2012, 10:43 AM
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Headknocker A few mishaps

Where to begin: 10 or so YRs ago..
A buddy had gone out a few miles in the Gulf in a 15' joe boat and reported Bull reds everycast. I "figured" my brother's somewhat beat up 18' pro craft bass boat would do just fine. So I and another friend loaded it up and headed out to Fouchon to meet my buddy. As we arrived at the Launch, my buddy in the 15' joe boat had mentioned he was already out and on them again. I said we are on the way. My friend and I launched and made way.

Part 1: As we are heading out, I see my buddy in the 15' joe being toed in. His boat had flipped and a crew boat had to rescue them. I offer to take over the tow and pulled them pack to the launch. My buddy claimed it was just a rogue wave that flipped his boat. He also mentioned my boat would do just fine.

Part 2: After loading his boat on the trailer, we decided to all get in my brothers boat and go back. Loaded up and headed out. All was fine, catching Bull Reds, then moved catching Spanish Macrel everycast. All of a sudden, the wind got cooler, clouds turned grey, and 2 water spouts (one on each a side of us) I said it's time to go.. Cranked up the motor and nail it, but we are not moving so fast??? ***?? Water at my feet, kick on the bildge, but the bildge is not pumping. Continue to take on more water (water is now at ankles) Holy $hit!! Everyone to the front of the boat, keep motor running. As we get closer and closer to the beach (water at calf level) I realize we will not make it to the channel and this boat is going on the beach. Finnally, boat is crashed on the beach. The storm has grown, rain poors, waves crashing over the motor into the boat.

Part 3: A passer-by on the beach gives me a ride to the launch, where I can retrieve my truck and trailer. As we leave, I can hardly see the boat from a 100 ft away due to the hard rain. (at this point my head is hanging low) I get my truck and drive it back too the beach. The storm has past, the boat is filled to the rim with sand and water. Ok, Now lets get this boat on the trailer and get the "F" outta here!! Dump the trailer and try to pull the boat higher on to the beach (out of the water) Nope!! my truck is not moving this thing at all. Here comes a dooley!! he kindly hooks up to the boat.. Nope!! dooley can't move it either. To try and wrap this up.. After 6 hrs, 2 dooley's, a jacked up Bronco, A Z-71 with a winch (winner!!) about 15 people, we managed to get the boat on the trailer.

Conclusion:
The old pro craft bass boats have a little vent on each side of the boat towards the rear. As the boat was rocking from the sea's, water was entering these vents the entire time we fished.

Bottom line:
Know your boat and have a working bildge pump or you may find yourself looking like a total jackass..
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  #10  
Old 02-08-2012, 11:05 AM
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This is great stuff!!!
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  #11  
Old 02-08-2012, 03:16 PM
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got hit by a truck going approximately 80 mph, while in a boat
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  #12  
Old 02-08-2012, 03:31 PM
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About 7-8 years ago I was on Big Lake with Asterisk and specksndasurf. I had a 17' flat bottom aluminum CC. It was really windy, we were in Turner's and decided to run to West Cove. Rolled down the channel and get into West cove around Rabbit Island. Drop my trolling motor and start fishing. Asterisk says there is water coming up through the floor. I walk to the back and open back hatch. FULL OF WATER! Crank up and we are going down fast. Drop the hammer and the boat is standing straight up. Both guys got on front of boat and it still wouldn't plane out. So with hammer down I run up to front and get it to plane out. Run up on east bank of west cove before it sinks. Call sheriff's office they come pick us up. Had to go back with a float crane to get it back in. Find out that I had a busted weld about 2 feet long where bottom meets side. Worst day of my life!! Never again!!
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  #13  
Old 02-08-2012, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noodle creek View Post
got hit by a truck going approximately 80 mph, while in a boat
Wait! What?
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  #14  
Old 02-08-2012, 03:53 PM
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We were trolling the bank in contraband bayou catching bait to go offshore the next day. we heard a loud noise and looked up and a dodge 4 door was coming down west 18th by the waste water plant full speed. we had just enough time to troll forward and get out of the way. the truck caught the last 6 inches of the motor. i tried to dive out of the boat but ended up inside because the boat swung so fast when it got hit. it threw my other two buddies out. the truck ended up all the way across the bayou sinking with 3 people inside, and they finally got out before it sank. real weird situation, they had guns and a pile of cash and were all from out of town. never got the whole story but the cops and kplc came. the driver of the truck never even got a ticket
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  #15  
Old 02-08-2012, 04:39 PM
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Eek

had the winch cable on my airoat trailer break while going down the road at 65 mph. look in rearview mirror as its sliding off trailer. slow down, boat slides down in ditch and passes me, turns sideways rolls completely over and lands upright. I get out check it out, crank it up and run it back up on road and load it on trailer. after that it had a chain hook and cable plus 4 tie downs when ever its on the trailer.
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Old 02-08-2012, 04:41 PM
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Already a thread somewhere on here with mine.
Me and a big Texan, in West Cove. But it turned out better than Spectators.
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  #17  
Old 02-08-2012, 08:26 PM
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we took off one night to do a little bow fishing. While running in the lake, we noticed bats everywhere in the spotlight. well, just after saying "damn, look all the bats"! one of them hit my buddy! we stopped and looked everywhere in the boat for it and couldn't find it. We forgot all about it, got back on step, and got to the place we were heading and started lookin for some fish to shoot. We are on the front of the boat, and spot a huge gar. my buddy pulls back, ready, I have the light on the fish. he asks me to look down and check that no line is on his foot before he shoots, cause he feels something. (we're barefooted) I shine the light on the deck, and wouldn't you know it, it's that dang bat! he screams like a banshee, jumps, and falls out the boat, bow and all. I would like to say that i didn't, but when he jumped, he kicked it onto my shirt, and I fell out too. 2 grown men, punked by a 3 inch winged rodent! we climed back in the boat wet and ashamed...the bat must've been fine, we never saw him again.
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  #18  
Old 02-08-2012, 08:31 PM
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Lol!


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  #19  
Old 02-08-2012, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bull1134 View Post
we took off one night to do a little bow fishing. While running in the lake, we noticed bats everywhere in the spotlight. well, just after saying "damn, look all the bats"! one of them hit my buddy! we stopped and looked everywhere in the boat for it and couldn't find it. We forgot all about it, got back on step, and got to the place we were heading and started lookin for some fish to shoot. We are on the front of the boat, and spot a huge gar. my buddy pulls back, ready, I have the light on the fish. he asks me to look down and check that no line is on his foot before he shoots, cause he feels something. (we're barefooted) I shine the light on the deck, and wouldn't you know it, it's that dang bat! he screams like a banshee, jumps, and falls out the boat, bow and all. I would like to say that i didn't, but when he jumped, he kicked it onto my shirt, and I fell out too. 2 grown men, punked by a 3 inch winged rodent! we climed back in the boat wet and ashamed...the bat must've been fine, we never saw him again.

All good stories but this one is the best so far, I can see this happening to me.
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  #20  
Old 02-08-2012, 09:12 PM
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I learned to wear me kill switch lanyard the hard way. Me and a buddy were between Stevensville and Amelia in my old 17' flat and we hit a log on the front left side of the boat. It spun around like a top throwing me one way out of the boat and my buddy the other direction. Well the boat continued to do circles around us 4 or 5 times till it finally ran close enough to the bank for the mud to stop it and the engine killed. I have never been so scared in my life. Just thinking about having to dive down to get away from the boat circling around us brings chills to my spine. I dont crank my engine without the lanyard attached to me now.
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