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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #21  
Old 02-09-2012, 01:09 PM
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Ragin_Cajun Ragin_Cajun is offline
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A couple years back in Pecan Island, me and the boys decide to grab some beer and make a long day brushing blinds before the season. We head out in his 18' flat with a raised plywood floor. Pulling up to some myrtles to cut we all heard a thud and low and behold a water moccasin on the bottom of the boat! We all scream and dance like little girls with one going overboard. Can you guess where the snake went?????? You got it, under the floor. I have never seen 4 grown men stay that centered in a boat staying away from the edges of the floor. We never found the snake! It was a long year in that boat!

Also back when i was a teen, i was following my father in a mud boat across Atchafalaya Bay to Point Au Fer. All i have is me, gas and a sack of oysters. Dad and sisters are riding in comfort of a 26' Scotty Craft. As i am trying to catch up, i notice water comming in ....and at a VERY fast rate. I flag and wave my hands to whick they keep cruizing along.....About 5 minutes later he turns around and notices i'm not there. So there i am with a life jacket standing on the motor with the boat completely sunk. All dad was saying...get me the oysters...get me the oysters!!!!!!!!

I wish i had tose times again!
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  #22  
Old 02-09-2012, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by fishaholic82 View Post
I learned to wear me kill switch lanyard the hard way. Me and a buddy were between Stevensville and Amelia in my old 17' flat and we hit a log on the front left side of the boat. It spun around like a top throwing me one way out of the boat and my buddy the other direction. Well the boat continued to do circles around us 4 or 5 times till it finally ran close enough to the bank for the mud to stop it and the engine killed. I have never been so scared in my life. Just thinking about having to dive down to get away from the boat circling around us brings chills to my spine. I dont crank my engine without the lanyard attached to me now.
Duck hunting, very hung over one morning. Every time ducks would get close, they flared off. Looked back and my 2 buddies were waving them off. They were hung over too and didn't want to shoot. I said F'it. I started the boat and they jumped in with me. I was pissed cause if they would have told me something, I would have stayed in bed.
Hauling azz down a ditch, not a canal, I took a left turn too fast. Boat skipped across the ditch and stern hit the levee. I flew out, boat took off straight then veered left and ran up on the bank, on the other side of the ditch. Motor was still wide open, jumping up and down in the water and mud flying. When friends looked back, only living thing back there by the motor was my dog Ava.
Bad bad day.

Another bad hang over day, one of the boats at our camp wouldn't start. I took 2 guys to a blind in a pond I wasn't that familiar with. On the way out, I hit some posts from an old blind that was under water. Tore my motor off the back of the boat. Picked it up from the pond, put it in the bottom of the boat and started hollering at the blind to the North of us.
They came and towed me in to the boat shed and me and friend took another boat to my blind. 1/2 way there, prop bushing spun. Could only putt putt at idle speed. Turned around and went back to boat shed.
Picked up old motor that went under water and pulled prop off of friends motor. Headed to Lake Charles to get both fixed so I could go hunting next day.
Them was the days.
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  #23  
Old 02-09-2012, 02:10 PM
bull1134 bull1134 is offline
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This one was a long time ago, and any animal activist out there would want to kill us for it, but, it was one of the funniest and scariest things that I have ever witnessed!
Me and a couple of guys had just finished workin some cows and were headed out to a camp in the middle of nowhere to go fishin. Had all our saddles in the back of an old chevy luv truck, and yeah, we were kinda lit. well, were drivin along, me drivin with a friend in the cab, and one friend in the back of the truck. The guy in the back sees a coon on the road and yells for us to stop and "watch this!" he grabs his bullwhip off of his saddle, jumps out, and takes a crack at the coon. Now, he is pretty good with it, but misses, and the coon takes off running. poor thing ran right into an old hogwire fence and gets stuck. my buddy thinks this is funny and takes another crack at him while it's stuck. he hits it, the fur flies, and the coon screams. now I don't know if anyone has heard a coon scream, but it is a horrible sound. me and the guy in the cab yell for him to stop, its not funny! but he doesn't and cracks him again! Now, me and the guy in the cab are pissed, but not nearly as bad as that coon! Some might think i'm lying, or was drunk, but I swear, that coon backed outta that fence and looked dead at the guy with the whip, and hissed! he had enough! he took off after my buddy, the guy runs and jumps back in the bed of the truck, and the coon followed. retribution! We watched, amazed, as that coon proceeded to eat him alive! my boy was screamin, yellin for help, while we were too shocked to do anything but watch! he eventually got a kick in and the coon took off. needless to say, fishin was cancelled and we spent the night waiting in a hospital room for my buddy to get stitched up, and recieve his first shots of rabies vaccine. never failing to tell anyone who would listen what happened to him.

karma...
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  #24  
Old 02-09-2012, 04:32 PM
DUCKGOGETTER DUCKGOGETTER is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bull1134 View Post
this one was a long time ago, and any animal activist out there would want to kill us for it, but, it was one of the funniest and scariest things that i have ever witnessed!
Me and a couple of guys had just finished workin some cows and were headed out to a camp in the middle of nowhere to go fishin. Had all our saddles in the back of an old chevy luv truck, and yeah, we were kinda lit. Well, were drivin along, me drivin with a friend in the cab, and one friend in the back of the truck. The guy in the back sees a coon on the road and yells for us to stop and "watch this!" he grabs his bullwhip off of his saddle, jumps out, and takes a crack at the coon. Now, he is pretty good with it, but misses, and the coon takes off running. Poor thing ran right into an old hogwire fence and gets stuck. My buddy thinks this is funny and takes another crack at him while it's stuck. He hits it, the fur flies, and the coon screams. Now i don't know if anyone has heard a coon scream, but it is a horrible sound. Me and the guy in the cab yell for him to stop, its not funny! But he doesn't and cracks him again! Now, me and the guy in the cab are pissed, but not nearly as bad as that coon! Some might think i'm lying, or was drunk, but i swear, that coon backed outta that fence and looked dead at the guy with the whip, and hissed! He had enough! He took off after my buddy, the guy runs and jumps back in the bed of the truck, and the coon followed. Retribution! We watched, amazed, as that coon proceeded to eat him alive! My boy was screamin, yellin for help, while we were too shocked to do anything but watch! He eventually got a kick in and the coon took off. Needless to say, fishin was cancelled and we spent the night waiting in a hospital room for my buddy to get stitched up, and recieve his first shots of rabies vaccine. Never failing to tell anyone who would listen what happened to him.

Karma...

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet that was a sight
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  #25  
Old 02-10-2012, 08:12 AM
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Captain Mike P. Captain Mike P. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bull1134 View Post
This one was a long time ago, and any animal activist out there would want to kill us for it, but, it was one of the funniest and scariest things that I have ever witnessed!
Me and a couple of guys had just finished workin some cows and were headed out to a camp in the middle of nowhere to go fishin. Had all our saddles in the back of an old chevy luv truck, and yeah, we were kinda lit. well, were drivin along, me drivin with a friend in the cab, and one friend in the back of the truck. The guy in the back sees a coon on the road and yells for us to stop and "watch this!" he grabs his bullwhip off of his saddle, jumps out, and takes a crack at the coon. Now, he is pretty good with it, but misses, and the coon takes off running. poor thing ran right into an old hogwire fence and gets stuck. my buddy thinks this is funny and takes another crack at him while it's stuck. he hits it, the fur flies, and the coon screams. now I don't know if anyone has heard a coon scream, but it is a horrible sound. me and the guy in the cab yell for him to stop, its not funny! but he doesn't and cracks him again! Now, me and the guy in the cab are pissed, but not nearly as bad as that coon! Some might think i'm lying, or was drunk, but I swear, that coon backed outta that fence and looked dead at the guy with the whip, and hissed! he had enough! he took off after my buddy, the guy runs and jumps back in the bed of the truck, and the coon followed. retribution! We watched, amazed, as that coon proceeded to eat him alive! my boy was screamin, yellin for help, while we were too shocked to do anything but watch! he eventually got a kick in and the coon took off. needless to say, fishin was cancelled and we spent the night waiting in a hospital room for my buddy to get stitched up, and recieve his first shots of rabies vaccine. never failing to tell anyone who would listen what happened to him.

karma...
Ha Ha Ha!! That some funny $hit... Never mess with a coon or a coonass
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  #26  
Old 02-10-2012, 08:25 AM
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Captain Mike P. Captain Mike P. is offline
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A long time ago.. and I still hear it till this day!!
When I was a young child around 8yrs old or so. My dad, brother, and myself went for a little socolait fishing trip. To our amazement the fish were on. One after another we filled a stringer full of fish. Estimated guess about 30 fish. My dad mention's we'll catch a couple more and head home. Me being the helpful kid that I was decided, I'll pick up around the boat, but of course I had to take one more look at that stringer. Then, i figured, I'll just untie it and pull it in the boat. (wrong!! I untied it and away it went) I didn't say a word!!! Picked up around the boat and as my dad caught another and heads to the stringer. (I still keep my mouth shut) The redness cover his face and he looks directly to me.. Oh $hit!! I couldn't even pin it on my brother!!! After the *** chewing was over, I thought (ok that wasn't so bad!!) Little did I know, I would hear about this day for the rest of my life.. He brought it up yesturday.. I'm 29... Good memmories..
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