Am I asking for to much

[longcast]

My brother who is 28 has been living in my home for 2 months. He has no job and no ambition. Me and my wife work full time and attend Mcneese. We have 2 small kids and they also keep us very busy. I asked my brother to help out arround the house. I asked him to do things like wash towels take out the garbage and put the dishes in the dishwasher. I have been paying his insurance and have paid for him to get a twic card so he can go find some work. He has done absolutely nothing. I told him sun that if something did not change he was going to be out on the street. Am I being the ******* here. He still has done nothing but sleep till five in the afternoon then leaves.he does not return till like 3 in the am. Should I just go ahead and run him off. Dude has cost me over 500 bucks in the past month. Not sure when he will even pay us back. What would you guys do.

[Jordan]

i'd light a fire under his azz and let him know that this is what you want him to do. Thats nothing (what you ask of him) if he lives there and dont pay rent.

[Mediumheavyaction6'6]

tough love my man... you are just an enabler allowing him to continue a lifestyle that has now become detrimental to you and him.

[PReaux]

I have one of those in my family also . . . tough love X2

[fishinpox]

sounds to me like he may be on drugs or have a drinking problem if he sleeps till 5 and stays out till 3-4 every morning. if that the case i wouldnt want that around my kids ( if i had kids) , or my house. imo i work way to hard to give someone something for free ....if someone on the street askes me for a dollar or change i tell em to get lost and get a job ......i pay my taxes and pay for enough people to sit around like a democrat, i sure as hell dont need aany more . i would set boundries with yer bro ask him what his deal is if you dont like the answer give him the boot if you feel like he is being sincere make him sign a agreement to show you are not playing .....put his arse on probation lol

[Bluechip]

Originally Posted by Mediumheavyaction6'6

tough love my man... you are just an enabler allowing him to continue a lifestyle that has now become detrimental to you and him.

x 2...

[yak'em-n-stack'em]

hes gotta go jason, youve let him stay longer than i would have.

tell him if he wants to act like a "brotha" then he can go live with some

[PaulMyers]

Originally Posted by longcast

My brother who is 28 has been living in my home for 2 months. He has no job and no ambition. Me and my wife work full time and attend Mcneese. We have 2 small kids and they also keep us very busy. I asked my brother to help out arround the house. I asked him to do things like wash towels take out the garbage and put the dishes in the dishwasher. I have been paying his insurance and have paid for him to get a twic card so he can go find some work. He has done absolutely nothing. I told him sun that if something did not change he was going to be out on the street. Am I being the ******* here. He still has done nothing but sleep till five in the afternoon then leaves.he does not return till like 3 in the am. Should I just go ahead and run him off. Dude has cost me over 500 bucks in the past month. Not sure when he will even pay us back. What would you guys do.

You and I have had this conversation before, Its time for him to GO! He found your house when he was looking for a place to stay, he can always find someone else's house when you put him out. The cycle has to be broken, it might as well be by you. The sooner it happens the better off everyone involved will be. I know its hard but it will be for the best.

["W"]

Damn,,,,, your too nice bro.... My Brother use to be that way.....He ask to move in with me and I told him sure..,$600 a month paid by the 5th of every month.... He told me I can't afford that... I told him ok...ill pay the 600... You pay the rest of the Bills... That 600 sounded cheap then,,,but he never move in to say the least,,,,, Get a Job and Pay rent,,,, or live in a box!!!!!!!! No other way

[inchspinner]

imo...if he wants help then help him, if he doesnt want help then you cant help him, sounds like stated above...drugs, alch., or just lazy...let him help himself or put him out...hes not at rock bottom YET.....MY 2 CENTS.

[boatdriver]

I'm the same way as these guys. Not too tolerable of individuals that don't wanna help themselves. There are opportunities out there, whether he may like them or not. I'm sure you would have no problem helping him if he at least tried to help himself.

[joshdomingue]

i'm 28 and i wouldn't know what to do with myself if i had to depend on a family member ....... he needs a wake up call ..... introduce him to the real world .... imo!

[eman]

I'm all for helping someone that's trying .
My son just got the words from me a week or so ago, Get a job , go back to school or get out. 3 options and ya got 30 days.

[Zachary Boy]

It is honorable that you want to help your brother , but there comes a point and time when you are actually hurting him more by making him more irresponsible. Not trying to be funny or anything but , leave this page up on your screen and ask him to get something off your desk...I forgot to add, you are a much better person than I am...

[Finfeatherfur]

I think the advise given here is all the same! And it is all pointing to you having to do what is necessary to make a change. Either in his lifestyle or a change to get your lifestyle back to normal. Either way a change is needed, so just do it already.

I can feel your frustration, and I have never been put in your shoes putting a family member out. But, looks to me deep down inside you already know what needs to be done, and are looking for a blessing from your friends - us guys here at SC. Well, no blessing is needed and you will not be the bad guy for doing what is right for all parties involved! Especially your own family.

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Salty

My baby is 21 and still lives with us. But, she works and is very responsible. Even if she weren't.....I don't think I could throw that purty lil thing out.

she single ???

[SaltERedneck]

Ok, this situation is a catch 22... u wanna help the person out bc they are family. but you dont want to enable his behavior. Addicts are master manipulators. It is one thing to let family crash in times of crisis and another to keep them sheltered from the real world. Sounds like this kid is manipulating the situation. Don't ever expect to get that money back first of all. Family borrowed money is family kept money. Siblings are manipulative especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Typically, when asked about prior money borrowing an addict/alcoholic will make up excuses as to why they dont have the money... "i will have it next week" slogan. Sometimes you have to "let go." Families hate to let go, well bc its family and they always wanna protect. It usually takes a spiritual awakening or an unseen event (jail, institution, rehab) to change the life of these unfortunate. i dont know your situation but either way... YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY>>> NOT HIM

[longcast]

Thanks for the help. He does not drink or do drugs. His addiction is gambling. It's just as bad as drugs. I just stoped at my house on my way to class. Yup he is still sleeping. Once again thanks for the help. Btw salty I'm with you. I don't think I could toss my Lil girl out. My boy is a diff story.lol.

[tumbleweed]

Ok, this situation is a catch 22... u wanna help the person out bc they are family. but you dont want to enable his behavior. Addicts are master manipulators. It is one thing to let family crash in times of crisis and another to keep them sheltered from the real world. Sounds like this kid is manipulating the situation. Don't ever expect to get that money back first of all. Family borrowed money is family kept money. Siblings are manipulative especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Typically, when asked about prior money borrowing an addict/alcoholic will make up excuses as to why they dont have the money... "i will have it next week" slogan. Sometimes you have to "let go." Families hate to let go, well bc its family and they always wanna protect. It usually takes a spiritual awakening or an unseen event (jail, institution, rehab) to change the life of these unfortunate. i dont know your situation but either way... YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY>>> NOT HIM

x100

I was put in this situation by my brother years ago. I offered help and he rejected it. He ended up overdosing shortly afterwards. To this day I consider it one of the hardest things I have done, and sometimes still consider it a mistake. However, there was nothing more that I could have done. I have struggled with that decision for years.
It is easy to say that you have to put him out, it is harder to do it, especially if something happens.

I don't know your brother or you for that matter, don't know if drugs are his problem. If they are, and he is an addict, you need profesional help, don't try to do it on your own. I made that mistake.

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Salty

Divorced with 5 kids.

is she the other color ?