Funny women stories, post em up!!!!

[flyphisher]

Here are a couple of mine from some years back. About 1995:

Co-worker was getting married, bachelor party on Friday night. So, I meet them at a camp out on Haynes Blvd, there is about 8 of us, and 4 strippers were coming. So we're pounding beers, hanging out and before we know it, it's 9pm, strippers were supposed to be there at 8pm. The idiot that hired the girls paid them 1/2 in advance. They took the $500 and never showed. I got pizzed off, and went out on my own. I was pretty loaded at that club that used to be at Causeway and I-10. I was dancing my *** off (very out of character for me, more on that later) with these 2 chicks that were ripping hot. Mini skirts, big boobs, etc. So we're all 3 making out together and I'm thinking "Home Run tonight!!" I can't believe this is happening, a Daily Double! Well, we decide to go to their apartment a few blocks away. We walk out the door of the club into...................................DAYLIGHT!!!

Holy crap!!! I looked at my watch, 6:58am!!!!! I gotta be at work at 9am..DAMMIT!! So, I race home, shower and change and head to work. Luckily, it is Saturday, shouldn't be too busy. I go in my office and try to sleep. Can't sleep, heart rate is high, still drunk. One of the guys comes to check on me, I'm antsy, jumpy. I've been drunk at work before, sometimes we drank at work, but this was different. So, I'm relaying this adventure to a few of the guys, now it's about 10:30am. One of them says, "Dude, you're fricking high as a kite on Ecstasy! Those chicks dropped some X in your drink." Thinking back over the night's activities, I was like, damn, I can see why people would take this stuff!




Then, there was a night at Legend's...........................we were tagging ****'s before there was the term ****!! Again, a bachelor party..................We start at 22nd St Bar, then go to Legend's. We're there for about 2 hours, I'm talking with this 40 y/o lady, who was looking good. (I was 25 then) We're getting along just peachy. The other guys are gonna leave and go to strip clubs, so they're gonna leave and I'm on the fence, stay, or go? She decides for me. "You can stay with me if you want, I'll give you a ride." OK. So we're hanging out, making out, head back to her place..........................

Then, I wake up. Don't recognize anything in this house. I'm naked, she's naked, covers and sheets are all on the floor. I took a good look at her and said to myself "Son, you done good. Dunno what you did, but it was good." So I ease out of her bed, theire is pictures of a couple kids and her with a man. (I guess husband?) I pick up my clothes and quietly get dressed while looking for the way out. Then I panic, I hope my truck is out there nearby, as I didn't remember picking it up on the way to her house! Crap, I ease out the door, and there is my truck!! Thank you sweet 8lb 6oz baby jesus!!!! Now I don't even know what part of town I am in, LOL. Get in the truck, drive a few blocks, Bucktown, no worries.