Thank you all for the input. I promise all of you, it hasnt gone un-noticed. I have taken all advice on this thread and put it to use. I talked with my chief last night and got a little bit of closure. I then went and talked with my dad who is a paramedic and had him break it down for me. He told me things that I never though about. 90% of my issue is stress. I will be going and working out at the fire station after calls and I will better my health by changing my diet in order to help myself cope with these situations.
Again, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everyone's input and I promise you, it hasnt gone un-noticed. I am all ears for more input. I went and ran around the cow pasture last night until I thought I was literally going to die, went in and took a shower and slept better last night than I have in months.