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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please. |
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#1
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Greatest Job App ever
NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. Last edited by iron man; 09-04-2011 at 10:18 PM. Reason: eman was getting confused |
#2
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If you are going to post a joke that you copy and paste PLEASE take the time to edit and remove all the extra crap!!!!
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#3
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[size][size/2][size][size/2]didn't know it did that[size][size][size]sorry about[size][size][size/2]that[size][size][size][size][size][size][size][size][size][size]size[size]
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#4
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Here we go again this is fkn homo man
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#5
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Last edited by iron man; Today at 10:18 PM. Reason: eman was getting confused
That's funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He got ya E!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
#6
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Lol
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#7
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Nah i wern't confused just going blind from reading the word size.
Or maybe it's what my mama used to tell me about going blind. Nahhhhhh. |
#8
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I would tell that smart *** to get fudged, pathetic.......
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