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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 03-26-2010, 11:30 AM
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Cheers Moving to New Orleans....

Jack was sitting on the flight from Chicago to New Orleans when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans, there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate."

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
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  #2  
Old 03-26-2010, 06:02 PM
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Smile yeah you right!!!

that really applies all over the city!
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  #3  
Old 03-26-2010, 06:59 PM
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I saw on the local news where they had a quad murder down there last night. Problem is.....15 more were born today at Charity.
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Old 03-26-2010, 07:07 PM
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  #5  
Old 03-26-2010, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Salty View Post
I saw on the local news where they had a quad murder down there last night. Problem is.....15 more were born today at Charity.

How do we know you wasn't born in a charity hospital by tax payer's $$$? And comparing innocent babies to adult killers, sounds like racist trash!
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  #6  
Old 03-27-2010, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by LPfishnTIM View Post
How do we know you wasn't born in a charity hospital by tax payer's $$$? And comparing innocent babies to adult killers, sounds like racist trash!
So does living in Walker, La.
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  #7  
Old 03-27-2010, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by LPfishnTIM View Post
How do we know you wasn't born in a charity hospital by tax payer's $$$? And comparing innocent babies to adult killers, sounds like racist trash!

I ain't no "racist", dood! I have nothin' against Indians, Texicans, Chinamen or Japanzies....people who work for a livin'.

In N.O. them "innocent babies" become "adult killers". They know no other way.
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  #8  
Old 03-27-2010, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Mediumheavyaction6'6 View Post
So does living in Walker, La.
LOL
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  #9  
Old 03-27-2010, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Salty View Post
I ain't no "racist", dood! I have nothin' against Indians, Texicans, Chinamen or Japanzies....people who work for a livin'.

In N.O. them "innocent babies" become "adult killers". They know no other way.

People can scream racist crap all they want but truth be known most of it comes from truth. And I mean most and if you haven't realized that then you haven't gotten out enough in different areas. If you don't have that desire to see it for yourself, then you have other options: pick up a newspaper, turn on the news, or get a map of crime stats and try to deny the truth. Although first hand view is the best method, the others will get the point.

I'm with salty, long as you work for what u got and not screwin others to get it then you a good dude in my book, but don't sit there and try to label someone as a racist because their eyes are open and aren't blind to the truth

btw this isn't directed at lpfishntim, this is just general consensus that I have on people bashing about being racist when all the person did was state a truthful fact

Last edited by FF_T_Warren; 03-27-2010 at 08:15 AM.
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  #10  
Old 03-27-2010, 10:36 PM
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Originally Posted by FF_T_Warren View Post
People can scream racist crap all they want but truth be known most of it comes from truth. And I mean most and if you haven't realized that then you haven't gotten out enough in different areas. If you don't have that desire to see it for yourself, then you have other options: pick up a newspaper, turn on the news, or get a map of crime stats and try to deny the truth. Although first hand view is the best method, the others will get the point.

I'm with salty, long as you work for what u got and not screwin others to get it then you a good dude in my book, but don't sit there and try to label someone as a racist because their eyes are open and aren't blind to the truth

btw this isn't directed at lpfishntim, this is just general consensus that I have on people bashing about being racist when all the person did was state a truthful fact

I can agree with that. I've been around N.O., I've lived in Baton Rouge in a very racially diverse neighborhood and I know for a fact that everyone has the potential to do something great with there life regardless of race. I don't choose or want to be ignorant about the truth. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I know the statistics are high for black men to commit violent crimes and street crimes, But in reality not every person in the black race grows up to be a criminal. Sorry If I offended you Salty you might not be racist, but stereotypes aren't always reality!

btw living in walker is a 100x better than living in Baton Rouge. I can sleep at night not having to hear traffic, car stereo systems, trains, gun shots etc. and FYI I live in a nice restricted subdivision that isn't trashy!
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  #11  
Old 03-27-2010, 11:10 PM
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Originally Posted by LPfishnTIM View Post
I can agree with that. I've been around N.O., I've lived in Baton Rouge in a very racially diverse neighborhood and I know for a fact that everyone has the potential to do something great with there life regardless of race. I don't choose or want to be ignorant about the truth. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and I know the statistics are high for black men to commit violent crimes and street crimes, But in reality not every person in the black race grows up to be a criminal. Sorry If I offended you Salty you might not be racist, but stereotypes aren't always reality!

btw living in walker is a 100x better than living in Baton Rouge. I can sleep at night not having to hear traffic, car stereo systems, trains, gun shots etc. and FYI I live in a nice restricted subdivision that isn't trashy!

When people refer to racism, they are talking about blacks 99.99% of the time. Why is that? Because there are more blacks than other races, or, maybe because the other races work? Like "W", I have worked hard all my life and have instilled the same in my kids. Raising them in a "welfare" town made that a chore, in itself, but I am proud of the way both of 'em turned out. Was it easier for me to teach them because I am white? Was it easier for them to learn because they are white? If you think I'm a "racist", you, my friend, are colored-blind. The blacks are the ones that have played the "race card" since the beginning of time.
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  #12  
Old 03-27-2010, 11:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Salty View Post
When people refer to racism, they are talking about blacks 99.99% of the time. Why is that? Because there are more blacks than other races, or, maybe because the other races work? Like "W", I have worked hard all my life and have instilled the same in my kids. Raising them in a "welfare" town made that a chore, in itself, but I am proud of the way both of 'em turned out. Was it easier for me to teach them because I am white? Was it easier for them to learn because they are white? If you think I'm a "racist", you, my friend, are colored-blind. The blacks are the ones that have played the "race card" since the beginning of time.

A father makes a big difference for everyone in society, the problem isn't that a person is black or white or any race, its there belief, there practices, ethics, and how they were raised. the social problems that we face these days is a lack of fathering and yes that is a major problem in the black community too and as fft warren said its a matter of truth.

there is a number of things we can point our finger at and criticize, issues, people, politics and groups but if we never do anything to help solve the problem then we are nothing but hypocrites who are part of the problem.

Last edited by LPfishnTIM; 03-28-2010 at 12:07 AM.
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  #13  
Old 03-27-2010, 11:52 PM
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sadly enough a father role is not present in most minority upbringings...
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The cops are the experts on the current criminal trends. If they have determined that a “high capacity” semiautomatic pistol and a .223 semiautomatic rifle with 30-round magazines are the best firearms for them to use to protect people like me and my family, they are obviously the best things for us to use to protect ourselves and our families .
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  #14  
Old 03-28-2010, 12:01 AM
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Originally Posted by LPfishnTIM View Post
A father makes a big difference for everyone in society, the problem isn't that a person is black or white or any race, its there belief, there practices how they were raised. the social problems that we face these days is a lack of fathering and yes that is a major problem in the black community too and as fft warren said its a matter of truth.

and as earlier I apologize for that first comment.
You didn't offend me.....I just want you to know where I stand.

I agree, somewhat, that the absence of a father is part of the problem in "minorities", but, pardon the pun......alot of it is "monkey see...monkey do".
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  #15  
Old 03-28-2010, 12:03 AM
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......alot of it is "monkey see...monkey do".
What??? j/k I know what'cha mean...
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The cops are the experts on the current criminal trends. If they have determined that a “high capacity” semiautomatic pistol and a .223 semiautomatic rifle with 30-round magazines are the best firearms for them to use to protect people like me and my family, they are obviously the best things for us to use to protect ourselves and our families .
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  #16  
Old 03-28-2010, 12:05 AM
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What???
They do the things they see the others do.
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  #17  
Old 03-28-2010, 07:47 AM
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Sit back and let me hit you with some truth... Racism is a relatively new religion created by our government and then distributed by the media. What I mean by "religion" is that it is used to control or divert attention away from what the government is doing. Think about it, if whites are scared of what blacks are doing aka crime and other mischief and the blacks think the whites are out to get them then both sides focus on each other instead of what the big house is doing. Now, you will say that racism is a real and viable entity i.e. the 50's and 60's in the south. I agree that there are people in this country that are haters of a certain race color and creed but that doesn't mean it is widespread and out of control like the media has you believe. Things done by the powers that be are not done just willy nilly they are planned and calculated. Chew on that morsel of goodness for a moment and get back to me. Oh and LpFishnTIM, you sir are a hypocrite because that city of Walker with its less crime was built on racism. That city has recently become more popular because of white flight. That is why suburbs all across this great nation are created and populated.

Last edited by Mediumheavyaction6'6; 03-28-2010 at 07:50 AM. Reason: to add more truth
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  #18  
Old 03-28-2010, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediumheavyaction6'6 View Post
Sit back and let me hit you with some truth... Racism is a relatively new religion created by our government and then distributed by the media. What I mean by "religion" is that it is used to control or divert attention away from what the government is doing. Think about it, if whites are scared of what blacks are doing aka crime and other mischief and the blacks think the whites are out to get them then both sides focus on each other instead of what the big house is doing. Now, you will say that racism is a real and viable entity i.e. the 50's and 60's in the south. I agree that there are people in this country that are haters of a certain race color and creed but that doesn't mean it is widespread and out of control like the media has you believe. Things done by the powers that be are not done just willy nilly they are planned and calculated. Chew on that morsel of goodness for a moment and get back to me. Oh and LpFishnTIM, you sir are a hypocrite because that city of Walker with its less crime was built on racism. That city has recently become more popular because of white flight. That is why suburbs all across this great nation are created and populated.
this is a bunch of bull ****, the probability of having a black person commit a crime against you is slim, the chance is a lot higher that they commit a crime against there own family member or someone of there own race, the same goes for white people. The government uses media in many other ways than racism to divert the real problems from being seen in America.

And the town I grew up in and currently live in now has nothing to do with who I am and how I think, I've lived in Baton Rouge and Denham Springs Just as long as I have lived in Walker.
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  #19  
Old 03-28-2010, 09:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediumheavyaction6'6 View Post
Sit back and let me hit you with some truth...
Ok, Kenny Powers! Lmao
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  #20  
Old 03-28-2010, 10:01 AM
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yeah some people think they got it all figured out!
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