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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 02-25-2010, 11:45 AM
casmurf casmurf is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: waggaman, louisiana
Posts: 44
Cash: 726
Eek Which are YOU?

Which are YOU?
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Colt 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot..

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

.................................................. ..... ..........

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:



Democrat's Answer :


Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:

BANG!


Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click . . .. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click


Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-shocks?

Son: Can I shoot the next one?

Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
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  #2  
Old 02-25-2010, 12:09 PM
Ribeye's Avatar
Ribeye Ribeye is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Allen Parish
Posts: 21
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Redneck
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  #3  
Old 02-25-2010, 12:40 PM
Ray's Avatar
Ray Ray is offline
Great White
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: House
Posts: 10,432
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I hear rumor that someone on this board is a Democrat.
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  #4  
Old 02-25-2010, 12:44 PM
meaux fishing's Avatar
meaux fishing meaux fishing is offline
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Location: Meaux
Posts: 12,531
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray View Post
I hear rumor that someone on this board is a Democrat.
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  #5  
Old 02-25-2010, 01:53 PM
Jordan's Avatar
Jordan Jordan is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: DeRidder,LA
Posts: 10,399
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REDNEK !
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  #6  
Old 02-25-2010, 07:13 PM
speck-chaser's Avatar
speck-chaser speck-chaser is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: new iberia
Posts: 3,764
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Quote:
Originally Posted by casmurf View Post
Which are YOU?
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Salty Cajun?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Colt 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot..

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

.................................................. ..... ..........

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:



Democrat's Answer :


Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Salty Cajuns Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click . . .. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click


Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-shocks?

Son: Can I shoot the next one?

Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!




Fixed it!!!!!
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