Dealing With Death

[Jordan]

Im not sure if this is an appropriate subject on salty cajun.com, but I'm going to try it anyway.

Beings that im on the fire dept, were a relatively close knit group. I have been dealing with some deaths that are "haunting" me recently. I will not elaborate on what happened at these scenes but I cant shake the nervousness feeling when at a scene or weeks after.

Anyone on here deal with deaths and can elaborate on how to deal with them ?

We dont have a chaplain to talk with here and in order to talk with a counselor, our dept has to pay to bring one in.

What do you do to "get over" a death. I know this job might not be for me, but I love what I do.......

Can someone shed some light through either PM or reply on how you get over a death ?

[saodma]

Jordan, I have delt with them as a military member and former EMT. What you are talking about is a form of PTSD. Some of the best help is finding someone to talk to. It can be another member that can relate. We find it is best if they have not had the same experience but one close. They need to listen. A Chaplin is a good start and so is a counselor. A close second is just a friend that will not judge. Know that what you are talking about is not odd or strange and is normal. dealing with this stuff is hard and will take a toll. If you are close to Lake Charles I will sit with you and listen. While not a therapist I do sit and work with a lot of vets. I also seek treatment and I have some issues that have to do with Combat as well as emt issues.

Shane

[jchief]

Go see a priest/deacon/preacher whatever.

Jordan this can get serious. You need to deal with it. Contact some area departments and see if they have someone to talk with. There was a program for peer counseling, don't know how it is going now.

And I don't care if it costs your department. Need to go to the Chief and tell him.

[Jordan]

Thank you for the insight shane. I will try out your suggestions.

[Jordan]

Jude, I feel like im on the verge (SP?) of blowing a gasket. I have noticed changes in my lifestyle, eating habits, everything. I feel like im a ticking time bomb and can explode at any second and I keep replaying the scenes over and over in my head and I dont know how to "get over it"....

[jchief]

That is why you need to talk to someone. PERIOD.

Is Acadian y'all EMS provider? They may have someone to talk too.

What department are you with again? Rosepine?

[dave]

Originally Posted by Jordan

Jude, I feel like im on the verge (SP?) of blowing a gasket. I have noticed changes in my lifestyle, eating habits, everything. I feel like im a ticking time bomb and can explode at any second and I keep replaying the scenes over and over in my head and I dont know how to "get over it"....

PM sent

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

[Matt G]

Originally Posted by jchief

Go see a priest/deacon/preacher whatever.

Jordan this can get serious. You need to deal with it. Contact some area departments and see if they have someone to talk with. There was a program for peer counseling, don't know how it is going now.

And I don't care if it costs your department. Need to go to the Chief and tell him.

Chief is right. You need to talk to someone about it and if the department is hesitant to pay for it, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. If they will not provide the resources to keep their firefighters safe both on and off scene, then this is not a department worth being a part of.... PERIOD. Don't take this the wrong way, but this may not be the right thing for you. People cope differently and some just can't cope. Removing yourself from problem may be the best option. This isn't a career for you. This is a hobby. DO NOT ruin your life over a hobby.

In the years and the deaths I've witnessed since I've been involoved with the local VFD, I've only had one call that has affected me afterwards. I got through it by talking with my brother who was also a firefighter and also talking with my Cheif. We had the resources to consult with, but I chose not to. I learned to purge after calls involving deaths and have became indifferent over the matter. Death is the only certainty in life. I may seem blunt, but this has gotten me through a lot. I'll be more than happy to talk with you if you need to vent. I'll PM you my contact info.

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by jchief

That is why you need to talk to someone. PERIOD.

Is Acadian y'all EMS provider? They may have someone to talk too.

What department are you with again? Rosepine?

Acadian is our primary EMS provider, correct. I've tried to ask around, but to no avail.

DeRidder Volunteer

[jchief]

Who is the chief now?????

Is he attending the Louisiana Fire Chief's Conference this week in Lake Charles?

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Matt G

Chief is right. You need to talk to someone about it and if the department is hesitant to pay for it, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. If they will not provide the resources to keep their firefighters safe both on and off scene, then this is not a department worth being a part of.... PERIOD. Don't take this the wrong way, but this may not be the right thing for you. People cope differently and some just can't cope. Removing yourself from problem may be the best option. This isn't a career for you. This is a hobby. DO NOT ruin your life over a hobby.

In the years and the deaths I've witnessed since I've been involoved with the local VFD, I've only had one call that has affected me afterwards. I got through it by talking with my brother who was also a firefighter and also talking with my Cheif. We had the resources to consult with, but I chose not to. I learned to purge after calls involving deaths and have became indifferent over the matter. Death is the only certainty in life. I may seem blunt, but this has gotten me through a lot. I'll be more than happy to talk with you if you need to vent. I'll PM you my contact info.

Ive talked with other fire dept members, but I just dont seem like they listen or care so to speak. I've spoken with my chief with the same results.

Im not sure what to do at this point..

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by jchief

Who is the chief now?????

Is he attending the Louisiana Fire Chief's Conference this week in Lake Charles?

Im not sure Jude..... I'll ask my current chief about it this evening. Im going to ask him to meet me at the station so we can talk.

[Jordan]

I realy appreciate, from the bottom of what heart I have, the help from you fellas. Its amazing to know that someone "out there" cares....

Thank you again for the help and leads.

[jchief]

I sent you a FB invite to the Louisiana State Firemen's Association. I also posted there. Great resource for this stuff.

[haoward]

He is correct same with me being military and losing a few friends in combattalking to friends doesn't help me much b/c they don't understand.

Talking with someone that was in the military is who I talked to.

Find a buddy or someone in your field of work, he or she will understand.

As always someone in salty Cajun is always here to help.

Originally Posted by saodma

Jordan, I have delt with them as a military member and former EMT. What you are talking about is a form of PTSD. Some of the best help is finding someone to talk to. It can be another member that can relate. We find it is best if they have not had the same experience but one close. They need to listen. A Chaplin is a good start and so is a counselor. A close second is just a friend that will not judge. Know that what you are talking about is not odd or strange and is normal. dealing with this stuff is hard and will take a toll. If you are close to Lake Charles I will sit with you and listen. While not a therapist I do sit and work with a lot of vets. I also seek treatment and I have some issues that have to do with Combat as well as emt issues.

Shane

[Jordan]

Thank you for the information Haoward.

I have a buddy thats been in war... I will consult in him on this issue. I just get the impression that "friends or buddies" understand where im coming from.

[PBJ]

You need to drag up if you can't deal with it.....I was a volunteer fireman years ago and experienced some pretty disturbing things. I really had no desire to fight fires but volunteered just to help out the community. One minute I'm at home working in the yard and the next minute I was responding to a house fire where a mother shot her three babies and set the house on fire. That's when I decided to leave it up to the professionals....They know how to deal with it, I guess.

[jchief]

Originally Posted by PBJ

You need to drag up if you can't deal with it.....I was a volunteer fireman years ago and experienced some pretty disturbing things. I really had no desire to fight fires but volunteered just to help out the community. One minute I'm at home working in the yard and the next minute I was responding to a house fire where a mother shot her three babies and set the house on fire. That's when I decided to leave it up to the professionals....They know how to deal with it, I guess.

Not true about the professionals. Everyone will need help at some time or another with it. The smallest thing can trigger it.

I speak from 37 years experience as a volunteer/paid and paid chief.

I do agree with you though, if you can't deal with it, drag up. While the fire service cannot live without volunteers, it is not worth ruining your life over.

[jchief]

Jordan, got several feelers out. I'll get back with you as soon as I hear something.

[Jordan]

10-4

thanks Jude and again, thank you everyone else for the responses. I have talked with 2 different people that have responded on this thread and have come to terms that I do, in fact, have a form of PTSD. I told my chief this and will be going to talk with him about this issue after work this evening.