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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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  #1  
Old 10-30-2009, 05:35 PM
davethefish1 davethefish1 is offline
Trophy Trout
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Marrero, Louisiana
Posts: 319
Cash: 600
FlagUS Are You A Democrat, Republican or A Redneck?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You
have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have
appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway,
and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is
it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to
kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his
knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise
taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that
would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate
this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click... (Sounds of
reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click...
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
Hollow Points?! ' Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!' Wife: 'You ain't taking
that to the Taxidermist!'
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  #2  
Old 10-30-2009, 05:51 PM
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CatDaddy CatDaddy is offline
King Mackeral
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Gueydan
Posts: 2,594
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What would a God fearing, raceist, gun toting, Redneck do?


Cause thats what I am
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