Man of the house
 

Husband reads a book : "You are the man of your house"! So he storms to his wife and announces- "From now on you need to know I'm the man of the house. My word is LAW. You WILL cook & clean for me.You WILL go upstairs & give me the kind of sex I want. After, you WILL draw me a bath wash my back & massage my feet. Oh, & guess who's going to dress me & comb my hair in the morning?.." The wife replied "A freaking funeral director would be my 1st guess !!!!"