When Girls Don't Put Out!!

[longsidelandry]

This was written by a guy ..... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where se picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ****** knows I'm smarter than her!!!!

[Red Devil]

Awesome, but I know no man that has em big enough to pull that off. LMAO

[calcutta37]

Lmao thats good

[longsidelandry]

Originally Posted by Red Devil

Awesome, but I know no man that has em big enough to pull that off. LMAO

I've done something similar to that before. We got into a big argument about me wanting to get a side x side before hunting season. She kept saying that I didn't need that right now, I could just borrow her step dad's 4wheeler when I needed it. About a month later she said that she WANTED a new car, something more like a SUV instead of her 1.5 year old Civic because it would be easier and we would have more room to put stuff in when we go out of town and when she goes grocery shopping. We went look at all kinds of those cross over things (not a car but not a SUV) and she decided that she really liked the Nissan Rogue. I told her to pick out the one she wanted, a few days later she said that she found the one she wants and they could have it ready in 3 days. I said "You don't need that right now, can't you just borrow your mom's Murano when you need it?"
Needless to say I didn't get any for a while AND I ended up getting her the car...

[Red Devil]

No win situation ain't it?

[longsidelandry]

Yep, you got that right.

[cabwiz2]

On the side x side thing next time do what I do. Just buy it. And then ask/plead for forgiveness. We all know you begged for the side x side and where did that get you? I rather beg for forgiveness than beg for something and not get it.

[longsidelandry]

Originally Posted by cabwiz2

On the side x side thing next time do what I do. Just buy it. And then ask/plead for forgiveness. We all know you begged for the side x side and where did that get you? I rather beg for forgiveness than beg for something and not get it.

I did that with my Grizzly 2 years ago, I figured this time I would ask her and be nice about it.

[fun w son]

sometimes it's easier to beg for foregiveness later than to ask for permition now??????!!!!

[huntin fool]

Originally Posted by fun w son

sometimes it's easier to beg for foregiveness later than to ask for permition now??????!!!!

Thats how i roll...Begg for forgiveness later.

[longsidelandry]

Not when you're married, living off of 1 income, she's in college, you just bought a piece of land, you're trying to save money to build a house, and I just got a new vehicle!

[Ray]

Originally Posted by longsidelandry

Not when you're married, living off of 1 income, she's in college, you just bought a piece of land, you're trying to save money to build a house, and I just got a new vehicle!

I did that with my first wife. House note, car note, truck note and put her thru college, all on my paycheck.
This time I made sure I had all my toys before I got hitched again. And spent 10 years of having man fun before saying "I do" again.
But this wife works. And she lets me do almost anything I want to do, as long as she gets to do almost anything she wants to do. 50/50. Works good for me.

[longsidelandry]

Yea I get to do pretty much anything I want with no questions asked. I've had a bunch of toys, now I want the things I NEED lol.

[Hopper]

haha very smart dude! im trying that next time

[LaAngler]

pfffffttt, sometimes they think they own the only V in town! ya right

[BA-IV]

I needa bring my wife on and let her read some of these...She'll either laugh or throw something at me, either way she gets to hear what I been thinking all along, but its from you guys, so I can't get in trouble, just yall can

[FF_T_Warren]

Originally Posted by BA-IV

I needa bring my wife on and let her read some of these...She'll either laugh or throw something at me, either way she gets to hear what I been thinking all along, but its from you guys, so I can't get in trouble, just yall can

don't you know anything about women, you guilty by association. you can't win

[jpeff31787]

Thatsss aweesomee!!

[fishinpox]

my wife told me NOT to buy a boat , so i bought her a plane ticket to go visit her family when she came home there was a new boat in the driveway! i dont care ...maybe that why im gettin a divorce oh well and bruce is right THEY dont have the only "V" in town

[BMTAngler]

Im kinda happy that my fiance broke up with me now lol