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| General Discussion (Everything Else) Discuss anything that doesn't belong in any other forums here. |
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#21
05-24-2010, 05:11 PM
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we did the counsoling thing , dont know if it was to late or what but for what ever reason nothing changed so now we are getting a divorce , but we did try to work things out at least i feel that we did . bottom line something needs to change even if you are in the right you may need to change to make the realitionship work thats what suck and i could not swallow that so i filed for divorce 
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#22
05-24-2010, 05:40 PM
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#23
05-24-2010, 06:40 PM
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#24
05-24-2010, 07:41 PM
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The two and a half men clip is priceless.She tells me today we are going to the couples deal Thursday at 1.I guess here we go!!!
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#25
05-24-2010, 07:47 PM
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good luck!
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#26
05-24-2010, 08:57 PM
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#27
05-24-2010, 09:06 PM
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#28
05-24-2010, 09:09 PM
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I would say...
if you have made up your mind. Don't Put any of you through this. Sit down with her and make a plan that is amicable. I JUST settled after 10 years Monday the 10th. Well almost settled. Man get to the website I mentioned and READ
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#29
05-24-2010, 10:37 PM
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Good luck and hopefully everything will work out for the best!
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#30
05-24-2010, 10:49 PM
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yep
easier than divorce court
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#32
05-25-2010, 08:36 AM
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my wife and I had problems. we went to the camp just us two and talked till 4am. we were not mean to each other but we didn't hold back either. after that i left for a few days. we got back together and it's been great ever since. it was like we both needed to come clean
now we can talk without getting into a battle, that was the best thing i ever did for my marraige!!
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#33
05-25-2010, 11:25 AM
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I would have a problem if my son would have to stay in a house where there is no discipline. You said that the step sons are out of control. Your son will be in that environment without you.
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#34
05-25-2010, 11:28 AM
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Good point man... Thats definitely something that you should bring into consideration. Kids pickup habits from older siblings very quick
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#35
05-25-2010, 12:41 PM
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Here's my experience. 1st marriage lasted 11 years. Feb-Sept romance. We moved in together after I had been in a bad m/c accident. She got pregnant, we got married. 2 daughters, they were 10 and 7 when I couldn't take it anymore and left.
Tried counseling, realized that would not work, as the counselor just wanted me to "remember" the "abuse" I had obviously suffered as a child. Plus, she had huge breasteses and I couldn't stop looking at them. LOL. I did a lot of stuff wrong, and so did she, we both changed a lot. I was making darn good money then, and stopped going straight home after work. I guarantee you that I wasted over $50,000 in 2.5 years on drinking, gambling, and strippers. It took a while to patch up my relationship with my girls, but everyone is good now. Marriage number 2 will be 10 years this November. We were friends and co-workers for about 5 years before we started dating. She knew all about the stuff I had done, but she knew it was out of my system and we were good to go. Every now and then she will ask me something about if I had any desire to do any of that again. I just answer "Why go out for hamburger when you have filet mignon at home?" I haven't been to a strip club in 12 years, and every once in a while I'll stick $5 in a poker machine. She fishes, lets me hunt all I want, we do nearly everything together. Another thing, lawyer, get a good one. I don't care how amicable it may start out, her friends are gonna hammer her about what a piece of crap you are and she should take you for every penny she can. Trust me on this one, "HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!"
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#36
05-25-2010, 01:02 PM
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I'm going to try and stay. I put everything out on the table last night and I feel it is in her hands. I know I still need to do my part but now she knows that I need help with the kids and will no longer be the bad one by myself. We are just going to take it day by day and see how it goes. I also told her that I am buying a boat and that is that. Have to take advantage of the upper habd for the two seconds I have it.
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#37
05-25-2010, 03:27 PM
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Be prepared for your ex-wife to belittle you to your son. She will tell him how you did not love him or you would not have left. She will use him as a tool to manipulate and beat you down, and she will sacrifice the well-being of your son to meet her need to bash you. Just be prepared for her to do things you never would have imagined she could/will do.
It is possible that your divorce could be different and maybe you will get along...do not trust her. You are going to see the biggest case of making her the victim and making it all about her...I will say it again...be prepared for her to say things to your son about you that are not true and you will never be prepared for what is gonna happen. I hope it comes out different for you.
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#38
05-25-2010, 03:54 PM
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My parents divorced and while they were pretending to still be a happy couple, life sucked!!! Once they split, it was better. My mom nor my dad really ever said anything bad about one another to the kids. Occasionally, something would slip but, it was followed by, "I'm sorry" or, "that's not the truth." You are right though because it does happen but, not in every case. Look at all your options before you throw in the towel but, and I speak from being the kid in the middle, don't stay for the kids. It's harder on the kids than you realize. As far as the kids running the house, that's hell! My wife and I nearly fell off before we really got started due to this and he's a little'un! I'd say one thing and she'd say another that contradicted what I was trying to tell our son. Kids are tough and they can really run a marriage down if you let it. I finally had to tell my wife that no child, my own or others would run the home that I've worked so hard to keep. I guess, after numerous other talks/lectures, she has started to agree with me!? Good luck my friend and remember that no matter what anyone here tells you is best, it is only their experience. Each and every marriage is as unique as those involved in it. You have to do what you feel is best for you.
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