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#1
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![]() * i used to eat a lot of natural foods until i learned that most people die of natural causes. * there are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead. * life is sexually transmitted. * healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. * the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. * health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. * have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days not one talks about seeing ufo’s like they used to? * whenever i feel blue, i start breathing again. * all of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. * in the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal. * how is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? * who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “i think i’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out.” ? * if jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? * if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? * if corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? * do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? * does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? * why doesn’t glue stick inside of the bottle? |
#2
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Lol. Those are great
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#3
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Thats good stuff!Got any more?
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#4
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LOVE it
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#5
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lol...
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#6
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funny stuff
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