Gator Diet

[longsidelandry]

Two alligators were relaxing in the swamp talking.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said,
"I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger'n me.
We're the same age, and we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, I crawls up into one of them Lexus
and wait fer one to open the car door.

Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shyt out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem.
You ain't gettin' any real nourishment."

"See, by the time you get done shakin' the shyt out of a Politician,

there ain't nothin' left but an azzhole and a briefcase!"