Noah Deja Vu

[Andy C]

[SIZE=6]In the year 2011,[/SIZE][SIZE=4][SIZE=6] the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and I see the end of all flesh before me.
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"[/SIZE][SIZE=4][SIZE=6]
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."
[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=6]"I needed a building permit.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. [/SIZE][SIZE=4][SIZE=6]"We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=6]"Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.[/SIZE][SIZE=4][SIZE=6]"I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=6]"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.
[/SIZE][SIZE=6]"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls but[/SIZE][SIZE=6] [SIZE=6]no go![/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=2]
[/SIZE][SIZE=6]"When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
[/SIZE][SIZE=6]"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted[/SIZE] [SIZE=6]an environmental impact study[/SIZE] [SIZE=6]on your proposed flood.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark[/SIZE].[SIZE=6]"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"[/SIZE][SIZE=2]

[SIZE=6]"No," said the Lord, "the government beat me to it."[/SIZE][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

[longsidelandry]

Very true....sad....but true