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The Comedy Club (Jokes, Humor) Tell your favorite jokes here! Keep it PG rated, please.

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Old 05-09-2011, 10:37 PM
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iron man iron man is offline
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Cheers TWSS jokes

Today my dad called a plumber to clean the drains. When working on the job, he said, "I always go deep down to get the slimy stuff out." TWSS

My teacher was talking about Now and Later candies. After this girl won a piece in our class, she said, "It's suppose to be hard now and soft later." TWSS

My sister had one of those bracelets that are just a flexible metal band that snaps around your wrist. She dropped and it did not snap up. She remarked, "Wow. I'm surprised it remained stiff." TWSS.

I was moving boxes with a colleague one day and she had a crate that was on wheels. She looked at me and said, "You want a ride? All you have to do is sit on it." TWSS.

My mom and I got some milkshakes at Jack in the Box the other day. The shakes were really thick and hard to get through the straw. My mom was having trouble, so she said, "It's so good I could suck on it all day, it's just hard to get anything to come out." TWSS

I was sitting in I.T. class when my one friend wanted to copy a 3GB game but only had a 2GB flash drive. After ten minutes, the owner of the flash drive got frustrated and shouted, "It's too big! It will never fit!" TWSS


My friend and I were driving home from school when a car suddenly pulled out in front of her car and she had to slam on her brakes. I said, "I hate it when they pull out when they know you are coming!" TWSS.
One of my friends had never heard of Pop Rocks before, so I decided to play a joke on her by giving her a handful and telling her they were mints. When she put them in her mouth, she was calm for a moment, then she suddenly jumped up and screamed, "Oh my God, something just exploded in my mouth!" TWSS

At lunch today I was eating a sandwich and holding it with one hand. My friend said "Wow, why do you only have one hand on there? Is it not big enough for both of them?" TWSS

TWSS is THATS WHAT SHE SAID.
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