Funnies from Facebook

[Gottogo49]

While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River ;
he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.
If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4 PM, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded. I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.
Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, collecting donations."
"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."


BREAKING NEWS MUST READ,,,,,, A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a gun.
He shouts "This is a raid, get on the floor!" and proceeds to empty the tills.
As he runs to the door with the loot a brave customer yanks off the robber's balaclava.
The robber immediately shoots him in the head and shouts "did anyone else see my face?"
After a short silence a voice is heard from a far corner "I think my wife got a glimpse."