Where's Russ?

[eman]

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park
every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world
problems.


One day Russ didn't show up.
Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or
something.. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got
worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the
park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what
had happened to him.



A month had passed, and Sam figured he had
seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and
behold!--there sat Russ!
Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'




Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'



'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'



'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute
little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'



'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What
about her?



'Well, one day she filed rape charges
against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court,
I pled 'guilty'.



'The damn judge gave me 30 days for
perjury.'